The CRM Cynic: Customer Service is a Bitch

How sad it is that when customer service makes headlines, they’re almost always negative. Take the rash of stories about Comcast that appeared in the Chicago Tribune over the past two weeks.

It started when a woman who had complained about poor service received a bill from the company addressed to: “Bitch Dog.”

Comcast investigated, and fired the two individuals responsible for the name change. And it apologized profusely. But the damage was done.

The Trib received over 200 e-mails recounting other horror stories, and it set up a message board so people could recount their experiences. And it reported additional tales that it found on its own—like that of the Peoples Energy customer who received four pieces of mail from that included the words “scrotum bag” near his name.

About the only contrarian view was provided by columnist John Kass.

“Nobody cares about the poor Customer Service Person,” Kass wrote. “Who stands up for them when they’re yelled at, when they’re told that their mother was a hamster and their father smelled of elderberries?”

He’s got a point. Some customers are monstrous. And everybody has a breaking point.

But CRM professionals can’t draw much comfort from that lonely voice.

Rudeness and nastiness are common at mass service providers like Comcast. There’s no reason to be nice, so they don’t even try.

And having been on the receiving end, I don’t buy the notion that everyone is entitled to an occasional psychotic outburst. Moreover, interference with names and addresses should be an automatic firing offense, especially when people are worried about their privacy and identity theft.

In Navy boot camp many years ago, a mean old chief petty officer warned us that anyone caught sleeping on watch would be shot to death in their sleep, no questions asked. At 17, I believed it, although I was perfectly capable of nodding off while standing up.

But the flamboyant threat reinforced the point that the Navy had a zero tolerance policy towards this infraction. (Imagine if you did it on shipboard during wartime).

Comcast has to make a similar point—in much the same way.

Of course, it can sugarcoat it through internal marketing or employee counseling. Offer them a free health club to work out their frustrations.

But make sure they understand the threat: You do not refer to customers as “Bitch Dog.” Do it and you’re out.

To comment on this opinion, please e-mail us at [email protected]