THIS ISSUE WE’VE GOT AN OVER-DESIGNED AND UNDER-informative ad for KitchenAid’s new Dual Fuel Range with Steam-Assist.
Note how neatly squared up that headline is. Did somebody have to tease and twist the copy to make it come out as three nearly exactly equal lines? Did they do the same with the geometrical copy block down below, set in a font I have decided to name Teeny Sans Serif Art Director Gray?
The three visual elements floating in a sea of pristine white space are worthy of hanging alongside a painting of a tilted yellow triangle by Ellsworth Kelly in a gallery show of Abstract Expressionism. But what’s it got to do with advertising?
We’re talking about a kitchen range that can cost as much as 6,000 bucks. A little more encouragement is in order here. I got out my trusty magnifying glass and went to work on the copy block.
Here’s what I was finally able to read:
Introducing the KitchenAid Dual Fuel Range with Steam-Assist. An innovative oven that provides just the right amount of steam for your every dish. So the natural flavor and moisture of food, from roasts to cheesecake, is locked in, while convection perfectly heats and browns. With a culinary tool like this, it’s obvious why chefs choose KitchenAid for their homes more than any other brand. For more information on the revolutionary Dual Fuel Range with Steam-Assist, visit www.KitchenAid.com/cooking.
That’s not bad copy. And this is not a terrible ad. (Although I have my doubts that more chefs choose KitchenAid for their homes. How does KitchenAid know? And isn’t this new Dual Fuel model too new for them to have chosen it already? And do chefs really cook at home? Oh, never mind.)
An ad doesn’t need to be terrible in order to call for a makeover. Sometimes it just needs some editing, redesign and beefing up. But this ad just didn’t make me feel like spending $6,000 for a kitchen stove.
This is actually a product news ad, but somehow in the original the news is muffled. It doesn’t have the excitement of an important announcement.
In my makeover, I haul up heavy artillery in the form of four powerhouse news headline words: Now, first, secret and new.
Putting them together, I got:
Now, for the first time — A favorite secret of French chefs enters the home
The New Kitchen Aid Dual Fuel Range With Steam-Assist
Note that I have, as I usually recommend, incorporated the brand name in the headline, so that the brand strengthens the message and the message strengthens the brand.
“Secret” is a much stronger word than “method.” If something is a secret, we’re all curious to know what it is — and more likely to read ad copy that promises to reveal it.
I wanted the explanatory body copy to be not only readable typographically but also complete and informative.
I’m convinced that consumers buying the more expensive version of a hard goods item want lots of glitzy features to justify their self-indulgence and give them bragging rights, even though they may not necessarily understand and use all those features. But when I went to the KitchenAid Web site address provided in the original ad, I didn’t learn much more than the ad already told me.
I hoped to find the “rave reviews” the original’s headline referred to, but couldn’t find any. I decided KitchenAid merely was using a little advertising hyperbole. However, by continuing to poke around on the Internet, I finally found a site by a supplier named A.J. Madison that had more complete information. Presumably KitchenAid had shared with A.J. Madison some details it hadn’t revealed to us. This helped me come closer to setting forth enticing catalog copy.
To end the makeover’s copy I came up with something to increase response. Not only did I display the Web address much more clearly and readably, but I invented and added an offer: Free booklet, ‘Steam-Assist Secrets of French Chefs.’
The really dedicated home cook would be powerfully tempted to log on and read that booklet. While there, he or she could be exposed to more selling information about the range and moved closer to a purchase decision.
While they’re at it, how about adding a little free promotion for the online forum KitchenAid Conversations? This is a real forum where amateur cooks and KitchenAid experts swap ideas and cooking tips, and I suspect it’s suffering from under-promotion. Giving up a few inches of ad space to plug it would boost membership and draw more potential customers.
Oh, yes: And it’d add names to the prospect database, if it maintains one.
THOMAS L. COLLINS ([email protected]) has been a direct marketing copywriter, admaker, agency creative director and co-author of four books on marketing. He is currently an independent creative and marketing consultant based in Portland, OR.
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