How Many Crayons Does One Woman Need?

It’s been a very long time since September meant back-to-school for me personally. And my children are still too young for Labor Day to mean the end of playtime.

But the August urge to shop for new clothes and supplies never went away. A Pavlovian impulse hits me at the end of each summer as I feel the need to stock up and get something new to wear on the first Tuesday of September.

I decided to review one of the most traditional ways retailers get the attention of parents looking for bargains for their kids: the newspaper circular.

The leading drugstore chains all feature school supplies in their flyers, which makes sense. While mom is shopping for aspirin to help her get through summer vacation, she can wistfully stock up on pencils and pads for when the little hellions go back to class.

Interestingly, both CVS and Brooks juxtapose candy with their school items. All I could think was to pity the poor teacher handling a class full of tots after their “healthy” lunch of Hershey bars and Skittles.

Then there were the ads for technology/electronics outposts like CompUSA, RadioShack and Best Buy, which cracked me up, not for their design, which was fine. It just amused me to look at what was advertised, since pretty much none of it was on the shopping list when I was a student. Cell phone? Nope. MP3 player? Huh? Wireless router? Router for what?

And I can just imagine what my father would have said if I asked for my own computer to take to school. “Oh yeah, sure. Just as soon as I get a flying car for your mother and a robot for the dog.”

Sears also represented, imploring kids to “gear up” with the “newest looks for school.” Is Sears a cool place for kids to shop for clothes? I have no idea.

All in all, nothing in any of the circulars I perused made me go out of my way to shop. But I did decide to make a stop in the back-to-school sections of Staples and Target based on their flyers.

At Staples, I was immediately impressed by the array of locker organizers. How did we ever survive without these when I was in school? I’m tempted to buy some, even though I have absolutely no idea what I’d do with them.

At one of the many back-to-school supply kiosk-type areas set up around the store, I picked up some boxes of the 15-cent boxes of Crayola crayons that drew me in via the circular (great for birthday party goodie bags), as well as a pair of 50-cent blunt edge scissors and some washable magic markers on sale for $1.50.

Then, of course, I probably negate those savings by impulse buying some pens, pads and other items I didn’t really need right that moment.

As opposed to the all-around-the-store kiosk approach Staples took, Target has a massive back-to-school seasonal display area. Here, I knew one item I definitely had to get. Each August, it’s become a tradition for me to buy a 10 pack of spiral-bound notebooks there for $1. They’re cheap, and they last me for a year.

On my way there, I stop in the computer section and pick up a USB flash drive. Then, it’s straight for the art supplies, where I get my oldest son Jacob some watercolor paints and more crayons. Why I buy more crayons, I’m not sure. It’s become a compulsive illness.

I peruse the backpacks and can’t decide whether Jacob would prefer Spider-Man or Superman, or whether he wants to hold out for Power Rangers. That purchase will have to wait.

I look over the school supplies again, and decide I need to go home, before Crayola gets more of my hard earned money. Stop me, before I color again.