Stupid PR Watch: Company Makes Announcement, Rep Unreachable

There is little we trade reporters dislike more than when a company puts out a press release and there’s no one there to take the call if we respond.

One would think that common sense would call for a company representative familiar with the announcement to be available to answer questions.

But boy, would one be mistaken. The following is a true story—with the names changed—of a company that put out a release recently, but failed to have a PR representative ready to take the call.

A call to the number on the press release reached a friendly receptionist who said the representative named on the release [whose name rhymes with Poosan] was not in that day. However, [Sounds like Shawna] something or other would handle the call, but [Sounds like Shawna] was on another call and would have to call us back.

[Sounds like Shawna] failed to respond in a little over an hour to an urgent voicemail requesting a five-minute interview that morning.

A second call to the number on the release reached the friendly receptionist again. The friendly receptionist passed the call—again—to [Sounds like Shawna] who gave no indication she had received the earlier message. [Sounds like Shawna] then said maybe someone in sales could take the call. When reminded that sales reps may not be authorized to speak with the press, [Sounds like Shawna] directed the call back to the friendly receptionist with instructions to pass the call on to [rhymes with Poosan] who—remember—was not in today.

The conversation with the friendly receptionist went as follows—swear to god:

Friendly receptionist: You’ll have to speak to [rhymes with Poosan]. She’s on another call. I can transfer you to her voicemail.

Magilla Marketing: But you told me earlier she isn’t in today.

Friendly receptionist: Right, she isn’t.

Magilla: But you just told me she’s on another call.

Friendly receptionist: Yes. She is on another call.

Magilla: But you told me earlier she’s out today.

Friendly receptionist: That’s right. She’s out today.

Magilla: But you said just now that she’s on another call, and you told me earlier she’s out today. Which is it?

Friendly receptionist: She’s out today.

Magilla: [Flustered, barely able to speak] Well then how am I going to speak with her?

Friendly receptionist: She’ll call you back.

Magilla: How can she do that if she’s not in today?

Friendly receptionist: She’s working from home. She’ll call you back.

Magilla: But how can she do that if … Wait. She’s working from home? Do you have a cell number you can give me? I need to get a hold of her right away.

Friendly receptionist: You’ll have to leave her a message. She’s checking voicemail.

Magilla: [Suddenly understanding why there are waiting periods for handguns] Alright, put me into her voicemail.

And that was paraphrasing. The actual call went on longer than that. The only question now is who is stupider, the receptionist for delivering the self-contradictory message, or this reporter for holding out so long for a sane answer?