May’s Take – Jet Gleam and Fly Swatta
It’s a good place to be, I’d say. “I’ll take any of them. Where I am now, I’m good. College? I could go back to that. High School? That’d be fine. Junior High I’d take too. In two months it’s another June! Summer? Already? Not possible. And in just over twelve months I’ll be at my ten year high school reunion. If I decide to go, that is. I probably should go. It might be all right. I haven’t been on a campus in a while, not even on my college campus. Perhaps being back at a school will inspire me for higher education, although I kind of doubt it. My education is the money-to-be-won-or-lost-at-every-turn environment that I am embroiled in on a daily, no, minutely, no, secondly basis. Basis for this article, as it’s been awhile since I’ve fancied a write.
Las Vegas, Nevada, my destination of choice this past weekend. Amongst the Cokes with splashed Jacks and tables with spilled dice, my friends and I found it in us to visit the in-hotel spa. What a divine experience. Within the workout room was a pod-like enclosure that resembled a tanning bed, named “The Alpha 2010.” This device made the bold guarantee, “25 minutes in the Alpha 2010 is equivalent to three hours of rest.” What a tremendous statement, eh? My friends saw no way out for me, they absolutely demanded that I encase myself in the alpha. They knew I had an early flight the next morning, so 25 in the joint would virtually ensure I could go the whole night and morning and next day through without a single sheep. With eyes closed and smiles high they shut me in and pressed all the buttons. De-stress, maximum heat, lavender scent, neon therapy lights, lower back massage. It was all about to happen. 50 minutes later I emerged with a chemical burn and triple-oversized clothes because I had reverse-aged about twelve years in the 175-degree radioactive jungle. Just kidding. But it did claim to be 175 degrees when dialed to the maximum setting, and you know I was on the maximum setting. At one point, around 145 Fahrenheit, my buddy came by, peered in, and prodded, “Only 145. Weak.” Ha.
Wet steam and dry sauna. I visited both facilities after the alpha. And they were great. Wet steamed, I was. Dry sauna, I enjoyed. I could continue, but they were both too superb to spoil with description. So relaxing, so detoxifying. Yet I have already forgotten.
