Loose Cannon: Direct Mail: It Saves Lives
Short of the occasional paper cut, one would be hard-pressed to cite a serious physical injury caused by direct marketing. But thanks to an agreement between Reuters and Nasdaq, it’s only a matter of time before New York City records its first brand advertisement-related fatality.
These two organizations own buildings on opposite corners of Times Square. Each building hosts an enormous electronic billboard on its face. Together these signs encompass 17,000 square feet, and Reuters and Nasdaq are selling advertising space on ’em in a joint package.
Now, most ads in Times Square merit at most a glance, or perhaps — in the case of the racier undergarment spots — a quick double take. But the Reuters/Nasdaq scheme is designed to demand undivided attention. For instance, advertisers will have the option of simultaneously running two ads on both buildings.
Imagine Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer volleying tennis balls across Broadway and Seventh Avenue before turning in unison to face the crowd and proclaim their love for Bic razors. Now imagine the throngs of tourists who will surely stop and gape at them, frustrating New Yorkers who are simply attempting to get from Point A to Point B as swiftly as possible.
DMers, of course, will not be foolish enough to test this location for their spots. Any prospect stopping to scribble down a toll-free number — or, worse, attempting to log onto a Web site from a mobile phone – will be stomped by irritated Gothamites faster than a dropped Muscat grape in Napa Valley. With the cost of reserving the two billboards running between six and seven figures, depending on the campaign, the ROI won’t be there.
There is something about Times Square that convinces tourists who stand in the middle of busy intersections they are immortal. When this is proven wrong, the results are often tragic for everyone except the editors of local tabloids, and even they have been known to shed a tear if nobody coughs up a suitably grisly photo for the front page.
Can no good come from this Times Square scheme? Of course it can — for the Direct Marketing Association. Awhile back the organization announced plans to launch a series of testimonial ads touting the benefits direct marketing offers consumers. Here’s a suggestion for the DMA: Save the money and bag the campaign. In its place, commission a large, publicly displayed digital counter that tracks the number of Times Square brand advertisement-related fatalities. The sign’s tag line? “Direct Marketing. It Saves Lives.”
If the DMA must have testimonial advertisements, it can run photos of the widows and orphans left behind — the victims of brand advertising’s tragic consequences.
Just make sure those ads aren’t placed in Times Square.
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