Another Fourth of July has passed, and I have kept my streak of ending the day with all my fingers intact. According to a recent New York Times “Patents” column, this may entitle me to better customer service.
A device designed by Peter Bohacek and Dieter Schulz categorizes stress levels of callers to customer service centers based on how long they jab at telephone buttons – or how often, if only one push is needed — when asked to do so.
A separate module analyzes stress patterns for voice-activated phone trees, using tone, volume, stuttering, and the usual litany of magic words that indicate anger.
“While many calls are mundane, such as simple technical queries, and can be handled by semi-skilled operators, some calls, for example from irate customers with complaints, require handling by specially trained operators,” the inventors observed in their patent application.
They further note that, in addition to getting the angry customer to the right representative, “It is not generally desirable for the caller to know that he or she is receiving special treatment.”
Indeed. If it became common knowledge that squeaky wheels get the grease, we might actually turn into a nation of consumers that expect to be treated well by companies we do business with. It’s far easier to invest in a system that handles a few vocal malcontents than actually focus on providing satisfactory customer experiences all around.
To respond to the opinions in this column, please contact rlevey@primediabusiness.com
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