Remember “behaviorism”?
That was the now-discredited interpretation of human behavior by psychologist John B. Watson, who published his theory early in the 20th century. In marketing terms, behaviorism’s stimulus/response interpretation was both simple and naive: Messages hammered most frequently would produce the most response.
Just one problem with behaviorism: It doesn’t work. To aficionados, it’s an expensive lesson. George Washington Hill, who guided the fortunes of Lucky Strike cigarettes during their carcinogenic heyday, never learned this: Bulk expenditure of advertising/marketing dollars is a less-than-sophisticated way to increase market share. Hammering a message is as likely to irritate as it is to convince.
MCI, why do you still cleave to behaviorism?
I’m not privy to MCI’s deals with various airlines, but I have to assume the airlines make their frequent flyer names available and MCI – excuse me, MCI WorldCom – spends the money. So I can’t fault the airlines. But after a couple of years of identical and constantly repeated “Bonus Mile Opportunity!” mailings, wouldn’t you think it’s time to switch? The only promotion I can think of that parallels the MCI Bonus Miles pitch is “You’ve been pre-approved”…and these, at least, are from 50 different banks and credit cards, not from one unrelenting source.
(Sprint has a mild MCI infection, offering miles to TWA frequent flyers. No, make that a chronic infection, with footnotes such as “Certain restrictions apply.” We excuse Sprint because TWA needs all the help it can get.)
I’ve registered my complaints against MCI’s behavioristic mailings in previous rantings within these pages. What set me off this time was getting three – count ’em, three – MCI WorldCom frequent flyer mailings on the same day, one each from Continental, US Airways and (sob) Southwest, which I had ingenuously believed was immune. (Southwest’s deal is “Flight Credits,” not miles. Big deal.)
Yes, the US Airways mailing was in a kraft envelope, a #11 at that. So somebody knew something. But that somebody obviously didn’t have veto power over the constant remailing of a promotion that hadn’t produced results from these recipients after having been mailed a bunch of times before.
Those of us who are involved in subscription renewal mailings know very well: You don’t send the identical renewal message time after time. You assume, you counter-assume; you advance, you retreat; you ask what’s the matter, you ask what you’ve done wrong; you threaten with finality, you re-enter the arena with a humble we-want-you-back pitch. And why do the messages vary? Because if one don’t gitcha, the next one will.
Not MCI. They’re dogged behaviorists. Here comes one for me and one for my wife, from Delta. Envelope copy says, “Here’s a deal that really flies.” Urp.
Inside is fabulous news: “You still have time to take advantage of this special 10,000-mile offer from Delta Air Lines and MCI WorldCom – but it won’t be around for long.” Oh, it won’t? That qualifies as one of the great lies of our time. Wasn’t it in the February issue of this magazine that we agreed, I hope, about the promotion already being worn out?
Now, let’s explore MCI’s philosophy of marketing. Obviously, these guys think we’re slow-witted. They mail. We don’t respond. They mail the same thing again. We don’t respond. So, bright marketers that they are, they figure out how to get us to sign up: They mail the same offer again.
And here’s the gradually developing dilemma:
Let’s assume that between US Airways and Continental and Southwest and United and Delta, half a million people sign up with MCI. Each person gets 10,000 miles. You know how many miles that is? Too many for any handheld calculator to total. As I figure it, it’s 5 billion miles.
The next step is people trying to cash in those miles. Lots of luck, with the airlines allocating just a couple of seats on each flight. So ultimately, in the insidious and perfect world I’ve constructed in my Borgia-like brain, the whole construction implodes, with angry standbys creating such a commotion at check-in counters that 1) they’re arrested, go to jail and give up their phone privileges altogether, or 2) a bunch of lawyers who now chase airlines instead of ambulances file class-action suits, with the settlement giving a $10 voucher to each plaintiff and $30 million to each lawyer. (A recent Delta frequent flyer settlement was close to that. Plaintiffs got a $10 discount, usable only against full fares that nobody pays.)
Remember the Jimmy Durante line, “Everybody wants to get into the act”? Mailings such as this one from America Online may break the cycle: It includes a “live” $25 check for switching long-distance service to AOL Long Distance. They throw in three free months of unlimited AOL, so we can sit there waiting for a site to come up without as much cursing as we usually treat ourselves to. And, whee! AOL’s pitch attacks! “That’s a savings of 50%-80% off Sprint Sense and MCI One savings!”
Heck, if AOL is in the long-distance business, Morrie’s Grocery Market can’t be far behind. And the advantage of dealing with these intruders seems to be that their rewards are vertical, not horizontal – that is, their benefits relate to themselves, not to a murky third party.
A parenthetical point:
The National Advertising Division of the Council of Better Business Bureaus found MCI WorldCom’s claim of superiority was inaccurate if somebody compared the claim against other long-distance carriers instead of comparing it against local phone companies. MCI said it would “take the ruling into consideration” when creating new ads. I offer no ruling, just an opinion, but – uh – might you “take it into consideration” for direct mail, huh, guys?
A new term for this type of endless pitch-paralleling: Tired Mailbox. Sorry, folks, I’m not sponsoring a Tired Mailbox Award. Ask MCI.
A Happier Matter.
The DMA has named Jim Kobs to its Hall of Fame. It’s an overdue honor to a brilliant mind and a singular statesman.
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