Brand Riffing

That advertising doesn’t give the brand the justice it deserves,” many of us often say. You see advertising on TV or in a magazine, and you know the product deserves better. And, I’m sorry to say, the same holds true for promotions. How many promotions have you seen that are good enough, strong enough, and likeable enough to do their brand justice?

Most promotions, like most advertising, add to the marketing noise we all see and hear when we’re out there in Consumer Land. Too few promotions (and too few ads) are kick-ass enough to make you want to learn more, or be more loyal, or get your butt up out of the Barcalounger and find the car keys and drive down to Piggly Wiggly to buy the thing.

There are some great brands out there, and I often look to them for creative inspiration. What if the world of promotions could be as great as the world of great brands? Imagine a promotion that offered as much value as the Expressions line of greeting cards from Hallmark, which had to go down-market for competitive reasons and offer mass merchandiser shoppers a cheaper alternative. What price promotion have you seen lately that’s as strong a consumer proposition as Expressions?

Some promotions are done in such poor taste that they are as unpalatable as old yellow Listerine. I tried to find old yellow Listerine recently, but instead found Cool Mint Listerine. And Fresh Burst Listerine. So even Listerine has gotten more tasteful. What foul-tasting promotions out there couldn’t use a gargle of Fresh Burst?

I’ll give you a category that is ripe for a Fresh Burst: light bulbs. Go look at that section. The most well-presented light bulbs are the private-label selections. I guess GE and Sylvania have just given up.

How about a promotion that looks as attractive as the Pace Picante packaging? Those labels are beautiful. (OK, Zipatoni had a little to do with the design, but that’s beside the point.) Or my favorites, Celestial Seasonings. I actually buy boxes of Celestial Seasonings because the packages look so good. What promotion wouldn’t want this as a result?

In Fine Shape There is inspiration in package structures as well. I love the Dean’s Milk Chugs plastic `jugs.’ It’s the same old milk, but it seems to taste a lot better. And the most inspirational package structure to come along recently is Yoplait Go-Gurt yogurt in a tube. Brilliant. On a price-per-ounce basis, it’s not great value. But my kids slurp them up like crazy. Same yogurt, different wrapper.

How about the idea of same product, wrapped in a fabulous promotion? When was the last time you saw that? Barq’s USSR Going Out Of Business Sale?

Can a promotion do as much to extend a brand as Glad Ware and Ziploc Containers did for themselves?

Pepperidge Farm’s Goldfish have been the source of much renewal. Those smart marketers put smiles on the cute little fishies, and the business went up. Now they’re offering Xtreme Cheddar, Honey Graham snacks, and fish in milk-carton packaging. (The milk carton effort may be getting a little too overworked, but I still love Kellogg’s Special K Plus cereal in milk cartons.)

Here’s one that’ll make you take pause. We all know the Oscar Mayer Lunchables line. Brilliant. Convenient. Self-selected. Ready to go. So now they’ve come out with Oscar Mayer Lunchables Mega Packs. The one I saw contained two deep-dish pizzas and – get this – an Oscar Mayer cola. Oscar Mayer cola is sort of like an economy Cadillac. (Oh yeah, that was Cimmaron).

Some promotions just don’t make much sense. Then again, some products don’t make much sense either. Like Gatorade Frost, Alpine Snow, Glacier Freeze, Riptide Rush. Excuse me? I like Gatorade, but what is Riptide Rush?

Or Hershey’s Lite Syrup. How’d you like to be that brand manager. “Yeah, just stock Lite right next to that fabulous full-calorie rich delicious Hershey’s Genuine Chocolate Syrup,” he suggests. Which one are you buying?

Or Kellogg’s Snack Ums. These are giant-sized versions of cereals packaged in Pringles tubes. Big Rollin’ Fruit Loops. Yum. You wonder how some products ever get through all of the approvals.

One of the best product-plus-promotion combos in history is Cracker Jack. I found the brand in a bag, not a box, and stocked with its new Frito relatives in the chip aisle – with a mail-in offer emblazoned on the outside of the bag. I couldn’t tell if there was a prize inside.

Finally, speaking of advertising and promotion clutter, just take a look at the bottled water section. In the first place, what is the rational market need for bottled water? (This is my Andy Rooney bit.) And look at all that water – Evian, Ice Mountain, Mountain Valley, Aquafina, Dannon, Calistoga, Crystal Geyser, Dasani, Water Joe, Poland Spring. There’s even private-label product – shouldn’t that be tap water?

So, next time you reach for a loaf of Bread Du Jour, or Millstone Coffee, or Starkist Tuna in a pouch, or Gillette Mach3 razors, think about what kind of promotion could live up to those products!