inviting coworkers
That’s the plain and direct post that launched the irritating phenomenon we now know as Twitter. It was actually the second tweet, sent forth at 1:02 pm on March 21, 2006, to whom I’m not really sure.
The first tweet, sent moments before that one, said “just setting up my twttr,” as if anyone cared. And so Jack Dorsey created a solution to the social-networking problem we never knew we had. What I’m trying to figure out is why? Why set up a website to deliver text messages? And why, as a media consumer, do I care? I guess the allure is in having text-message access to a global community that includes celebrities like Britney Spears, Shaquille O’neal, Tila Tequila and Courtney Love. As if.
Barack Obama famously used the medium to connect with voters during last year’s campaign. Kanye West used it last week to apologize for humiliating Taylor Swift on the VMAs. Other than that, most of what I’ve seen is mindless yammering, what the twitterazzi call “twitterea.” For example: “watching football.” That’s Paris Hilton, yesterday. Or “just dropped my daughter off at college for the first time. such a range of emotions the natural course of events goes too quickly.” Some ponderous musings from Katie Couric. Then there’s “I forgot i had this crap. hanging with dumas for the =).” That’s Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio with an essential update. Or this: “I watched Mall Cop last night. It was pretty good.” That’s revered film critic Shaquille O’Neal’s review. Good to know.
My head (and I’m guessing your head too) is already cluttered with too much data, so adding a tweetstream seems like overkill. I received 63 tweets yesterday from the assorted personalities I’m following, none of which hold any impact beyond remote voyeurism. And the celebrities/personalities/shows I really care about only tweet upcoming episodes, or appearances, or funny links. No real insights, or even keen observations. I’m following Bill Maher so I can receive his rants, but instead get a very comprehensive list of all of his guests and talk show appearances. Even the Playboy Playmates I am accidentally following are disappointing: “Mermaid hair at last!!” was the breathless tweet from one.
So I guess Twitter is an elaborate demonstration that people are, in essence, boring. We all lead the same lives, watch the same shows, eat the same breakfast cereals, watch the same youtube videos. Twitter doesn’t elaborate that, it accentuates it. Nielsen Online says Twitter has a retention rate of 40%, with most of the dropouts after the first month. That’s no surprise. I can only assume that a very young demographic embraces it and gets something from it, which means they’ll spend time there, which in turn means it’s a decent place to advertise to them. Simple. But that was also the case with friendster, myspace, and facebook, before another bright shiny object appeared, and we all ran off to embrace it.
