Ah, Burgers and Cars
Iam starting to love Wisconsin.
Admitting this shows great largesse from a native Chicagoan now living in Minnesota. I’m supposed to feign disdain for Cheeseheads, the same way they sniff at Illinois license plates speeding north on I-94, or Minnesota mud puppies fishing the Mississippi River.
Credit Culvers. One bite of a ButterBurger and you’d love the Dairy State, too. Culvers is a fast-food chain that started in little Prairie du Sac in the middle of the state nearly 20 years ago and has advanced barely past the Wisconsin border. There are a few restaurants in places like Kansas and Iowa, but Wisconsin is lousy with them, and for good reason.
Culvers makes the best damned cheeseburgers on the planet.
They call them ButterBurgers because they butter the buns. I thought it meant they fry them in butter, which is too much even for me. I passed them up at interstate exits for a long time, but the ubiquitous roadside signs finally won me over. Hey, any cheeseburger is worth trying once.
One double ButterBurger with lettuce, tomato, mayo and I was in the club. Throw in a chocolate shake made with custard (Wisconsin’s version of soft-serve ice cream, with eggs) and it’s instant addiction.
The placemats have a map of all their restaurants; I put one on my fridge. We plan family drives to Chicago around mealtimes so we have lunch and/or (okay, mostly “and”) dinner at Culvers. Even our family friend Emily, a vegetarian, makes exceptions for Culvers. I’d call the place Cultvers, but that messes with the logo’s lovely script.
It’s familiar script, even if you aren’t lucky enough to live near Wisconsin: Culvers’ signs have the same blue background and florid white signature as Ford. In fact, everytime I pass a Ford dealership, I get a hankering for a ButterBurger. Pavlov would be proud.
The Wall Street Journal wrote about Culvers in August. It’s one of the fastest-growing restaurant franchises, and plans to have 200 restaurants by the end of the year, some of them in cities like Dallas and Minneapolis.
I think some of them should be in Ford dealerships. (Truth be told, I think there should be a Culvers in all Ford dealerships, starting with the one in my town.) It might not sell more cars, but it would sure build foot traffic — well, as long as there isn’t a drive-through.
Now, Ford turns 100 this year. Wouldn’t it be nice if they served burgers at the party? And since Culvers is looking for franchisees, why not start with the Yellow Pages, under “Auto Dealers,” under “Ford”? How much could it cost to fly them into Madison and woo them a little? These are entreprenuers, they know a great business proposal when they see one. Heck, they already have the signs and the beginnings of brand recognition.
Ah, I’m kidding. Culvers has franchisee wannabes knocking on their door — 42 percent more of them than last year, according to The Journal.
I wonder how many of them drive Fords.
SCOREBOARD
In case you’re curious about the triathlon I wrote about in August, Team Up Hill finished in three hours, three minutes. More importantly, we raised nearly $15,000 for the family of Doug Hill, a promotions copywriter with Frontal Lobe Dementia. The money will go to his medical and housing expenses. Thank you to everyone who donated to Doug’s family, especially the folks at Frankel and Draft Worldwide, where Doug spent much of his career. You can still send a check to Team Up Hill at this address: Team Up Hill, c/o Adrienne Fawcett, 2 Kings Court, Pennington, NJ 08534.
