Sponsors: Oust Samaranch

He demands a limousine to ferry him wherever he goes, and the presidential suite at the poshest hotel in town had better be that limo’s destination. Far be it from him to insult his suitors by refusing their gifts of high-end luggage, glassware, or firearms. Introduce him as “His Excellency,” or don’t introduce him at all.

As in any corrupt organization, the stink emanates from the top, and the most odious character in the whole Olympic mess is His Excellency, Juan Antonio Samaranch, Supreme Lord and Master of the International Olympic Committee. The Olympics strive to peacefully unite nations big and small, athletes royal and common, for two weeks of harmonious competition and camaraderie. It’s a holiday of humankind meant to give pause to a contentious and often ugly world. Yet the first and last word at each games is had by this foppish, pretentious Man Who Would Be King. He who appointed and groomed most of the 14 IOC members who accepted $400,000 worth of grease from Salt Lake City officials, yet disavows any responsibility for their behavior. The potentate who, at the age of 74, struck down the IOC rule that required presidents to resign at age 75. At the turn of the 21st century, the face of the Olympics is a man with a 16th-century management style.

Sponsors who elect to turn their heads on the Olympics’ current business problems, figuring it’s the athletes and the competition that they hitch their reputations to, may be sound in their thinking. Powerful people taking bribes, after all, is something that has always happened and probably always will. They can’t alter human nature.

But all the big corporations now negotiating new quadrennial deals with the IOC can use their hundreds of millions in sponsorship fees to force a change in the resident of the Olympic presidential suite.

Bill Clinton says it was Monica Lewinsky who was having sex, not him. He will serve out the remainder of his term, but then he will go away. Juan Antonio Samaranch says it was the Salt Lake Olympic Committee engaged in corruption, not him, but he doesn’t appear to be going anywhere but the podium of the next opening ceremonies.

Sponsors, you spend all that money in the interest of your brand’s image. Make the most of your influence – and your marketing investment – and do the only thing you can to enhance the Olympic image: Impeach Samaranch!

Romney to SLOC. As this issue went to press, the Salt Lake Olympic Committee announced the appointment of Mitt Romney as its new head. Mormon Utah traveled all the way to Puritan New England to clean up its act. Romney is a Massachusetts venture capitalist. Your move, IOC.

My Town. Last month in this space, I marveled at how readily the upscale, educated residents of my town in New Jersey accepted commercial advances made by Coca-Cola to the local school system. In return for exclusive vending rights at the high school, Coke will supply two new scoreboards for the gym (with Coke logos) and give the school 20 percent of revenues. The board of education said okay, but first let us devise a few rules. They just came down, so here for your edification is the corporate sponsorship policy of one small town.

Permitted are scoreboards and clocks with donor acknowledgments, as well as the provision of supplies, uniforms, books, and other school-related materials. Exclusive arrangements such as Coke’s can be had by negotiating a “reasonable financial agreement” with the school district’s business administrator. Logos will be allowed in the high school and middle school, but not in elementary schools.

“The corporate sponsorship policy provides legitimate avenues for getting involved in acceptable commercial activity,” the school board’s attorney told the Trenton Times.

Everybody, it seems, wants a piece of that sponsorship dollar.

The Wonder of it. Direct marketing patriarch Lester Wunderman’s adoption of the Internet (he’s starting an e-commerce business and joined Intellipost’s board) should serve as a wakeup call to all marketer’s in wait-and-watch mode concerning the Web. Intellipost ceo Steven Markowitz warns that consumer marketers postponing Internet strategies until the emergence of a mass audience are already too late to catch up with competitors who’ve gotten in on the ground floor.

“I take my staff on regular field trips to Wal-Mart,” he says, “because where Wal-Mart is today, the Web will be two years from now.”