News, the Broken Variety: Prize Fighters

Prize Fighters

Competing affiliate networks are marking for happy affiliates here in Q4 of 2007. CPA Empire, Azoogle, Clickbooth and Rocket Profit have been administering gift cards and presents for years. But recently the stakes have been upped, as NetMargin began offering an aggressive gift card package that has publishers receiving thousands in prize money per month. XY7, not to be outdone, has promised to "give away a substantial plot of land" in Las Vegas, NV. Clickbooth fired back with, "if XY7 truly gives away that plot, we will pay for the winning affiliate to build a home on that land." Wow. And Rocket Profit states, "those guys can buy you land, build you houses and give away hundreds of thousands in gift cards, but we have something better. Rocket Profit is putting together a package for an all-expenses paid night on the town partying and drinking with the coveted Webjuice girls."

Becking Order

During last week’s Ad:Tech London, a frenzy came over the crowd when it was announced that they keynote speaker would be David Beckham. Up stepped Becks with the poise and power we have come to admire, and he engaged the audience in a full thirty minutes of his marketing
strategies in the UK as well as in the States. He applied what and how he does what he does with what we do as online marketers. The Q&A session that he was gracious enough to hold after was even more of a delight. Networks hounded him to give them the exclusive "Beckham Ball" marketing rights. This seasonal treat entails a soccer ball Christmas tree ornament with a smiling picture of David on the front. Sure to be a Q4 blockbuster, networks from all over the land are clamoring to own the rights to this sucker.

Afflictions

A recent study has emerged illustrating the direct correlation between information and compassion. Top scientists have concluded the more data one processes, the less empathetic toward others they become. The callous nature of online marketing vets is a prime example of this in overt action. In addition, and not surprisingly, according to the New York Times, 65% of individuals who have spent over two years in this business take prescription mood-enhancing drugs on a daily basis. 35% smoke marijuana on a daily basis, 40% sexual deviants, 70% suffer from alcohol abuse, and 95% cheat on their spouses. A troubled bunch, are we.

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