Affiliate Summit Mars
Our publicist’s publicist reports that Missy W. and Shawn C. are busy organizing “Affiliate Summit Mars.” After the rampant success exhibited by such shows as Affilate Summit Vegas, Affiliate Summit Orlando and Affiliate Summit “wherever the hell that cruise went”, the logical next step is Mars. Our spokesperson’s spokesperson, representing Missy W. and Shawn C. states, “California Governor, Arnold Schwarznegger is thrilled to bring the Summit to Mars, and has full intentions of attending the show.” Movie buffs rejoice as Arnold vows to team up with Producer Paul Verhoeven seventeen years after Arnold first set foot on Mars. Early reports have Lindsay Lohan opposite Arnold in, “Total Recollection.” My idea of a proper Affiliate Summit is a few cocktails on a boat with a spokesperson from Adfemme.com. Holla at me if you like “Total Perfection!”
Citizens Against SMS Distribution
“It is bad enough that Sprint charges me when one of my delinquent ex-boyfriends sends me a text message, but now I have 3rd party credit card Companies sending me texts and running up my bill? Enough is enough!” That is a quote I obtained when I asked Suzy, 23 of Brooklyn, NY her opinion on SMS advertising. Suzy is not alone. Her dog, Smokeweisel, does not like text advertisements either. Unless they are coupons for free milk bones. Then Smokeweisel says they’re okay.
Dogs Against SMS Distribution
Dogs are taking a stand against all forms of SMS advertising, save Milkbone marketing. A representative from Milkbone Inc. responds with, “our dogs are loyal, that’s why we do not support mutt fights in the inner city.” Cockfights, javelin fights, catfights and bogfights have all been endorsed. I have been told a “bogfight” consists of bikini-clad women drenched in mud and wrestling in a swamp, riverbed, marsh or bog while dogs bark, sms each other and wager on the outcome.
Mailers Pro SMS Distribution
A wire tap of email marketer Cauldron Larynx’s phone revealed, “I love sms marketing! The FTC is so focused on reigning in that wild beast they are forgetting all about my spamming ass!” Wait a minute, I am Cauldron Larynx… hmmm. What happened here… I must’ve messed up my reports, how did I get my own name in my news coverage?
Lexus, LexisNexis, Connexus and Conexus Partners Team Up to Purchase VendareNetblue
Luxury carmaker, Lexus. information management Company, LexisNexis, Market Research firm, www.connexus.com and online consultants, www.conexuspartners.com have pooled forces to purchase VendareNetblue. The new name of the Conglomerate will allegedly be changed once again, this time being unveiled as, “Triple Exus.” Sounds like a movie I watched last night on Skinamax. This coming after Executives realized after the fact that www.connexus.com was already taken. So was www.conexuspartners.com. However, www.totalrecollectionsummit.com is still available… Until I finish this article, and then I’m buying it. Maybe they have time to secure www.adfemmebogfight.com.
Global Warming Has Caused the Nights to Get Shorter!
No it hasn’t. The days are just longer.
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