Best Letter to the Editor Ever

Sure, we trade hacks don’t get paid a whole lot of money, but we are rewarded handsomely with great intellectual give and take. As a result, money is a secondary consideration.

Case in point: An e-mail that arrived here yesterday from what has to be a non-reader, or a future non-reader anyway. It contained just six words. Such brevity. Such concision. Such slicing wit.

“You look like an utter spud,” said the e-mail from “Lee” at DuoSoftware, apparently referring to a less-than-flattering photo of me that has graced the DirectMag.com Web site for two years.

Spud? I look like a potato? What, is that some Canadian attempt at an insult? [Canadians being so polite, and all.]

And why an “utter” spud? Is that a more complete spud? A more potatoey spud? A purer strain of spudness?

Or is the e-mail a reference to 70s and 80s new wave band Devo, which popularized the term spudboy? In that case, I’m strangely flattered. Devo was a bright spot in American pop-music history.

In any case, keep those cards, letters and e-mails coming, especially you, Lee at DuoSoftware. Maybe next week, you can call me a head of broccoli or a Brussels sprout. Ooh, wait: Better yet, an “utter” Brussels sprout. Yeah, that’s it.