Whoop-dee-do or Ho-hum?

David Ogilvy, where art thou?

Just think what a masterpiece of travel advertising he might have created if he had “Surprising San Diego” to play with. It’s one of the most attraction-studded tourist destinations in the country.

Yet all the creators of this issue’s makeover subject have to offer are a few words of dainty poetic promise and a moody photograph that could have been shot at almost any ocean beach in the world.

If I were this writer’s high school English teacher, I would have a fair amount of blue penciling to do on this prose.

• Do people really say “Whoop-dee-do” in moments of joy anymore?

• Does “unsuspecting lips” mean that beach visitors are surprised to be having more fun than they expected? Or surprised to find themselves uttering such an outdated expression of joy?

• Does the third sentence mean that it’s the first time a 7-year-old ever kissed, or the first time he ever kissed a killer whale? And where did this happen? Out beyond the breakers or at Sea World? Will readers make the connection to Sea World? Are 7-year-olds really able to kiss a killer whale there?

• What does “the ideal family room” mean? A hotel room large enough to comfortably accommodate a family of four or five?

Never mind. There’s a bigger question at stake here. Namely, what is advertising? What is its purpose?

There is surprisingly little discussion of this question in trade publications these days. Advertising has been around for so long that people don’t even think about its principles anymore. Some of my readers have written to inform me that the purpose of an ad is to be “catchy” and “entertaining.”

At the risk of repeating myself…

For my money, there are four kinds of advertising:

1. Advertising that is a persuasive, action-producing announcement or reminder of one or more exclusive product benefits, advantages, news facts (like a sale), or favorable points of difference. Here the use of proven DR principles can make a big difference in advertising cost per response or sale or retained impression.

2. Advertising that seeks to create or strengthen a lasting buying preference in the reader’s mind when there is no definable, provable product difference. My favorite contemporary example is Absolut Vodka advertising. Consumer Reports says all vodka is the same. But Absolut is able to charge twice as much because its visually witty image ads create such a lasting impression of elegance and value.

3. Advertising that accomplishes a lot of the one and also some of the other.

4. Advertising that accomplishes little of either and thus is of little value.

I’m afraid the San Diego ad belongs in the fourth category.

A tool I have found useful in evaluating the worth of an ad is to paraphrase it. What’s it really saying? Is that what the advertiser really wants to say? And is it worth saying?

Here’s my paraphrasing of this ad.

Words paraphrase: Families can have as much fun on our beaches as any other. It’s also fun for little kids to kiss killer whales somewhere.

P.S. San Diego has other attractions, too. Send for our free vacation planning kit.

Picture paraphrase: Little kids have lots of fun at the beach, especially at low tide when they can skip through shallow water.

Not very compelling, is it? Is that all San Diego has to offer? What about couples who have grown children or no children? Aren’t they prospects too?

How do such ads happen?

All I can guess is that in so many ad agencies, so much of their revenue depends on clever brand advertising often requiring their creatives to have lots of imagination and skill — but no particular experience, understanding of basic advertising principles, or education. So their creatives are often inept when it comes to doing something solidly persuasive and results-oriented. And the agency combines a writer and an art director (there are no artists, only art directors) into a creative “team” of equal partners, so that a new ad may start with the art director’s visual concept and the copywriter has to write suitable prose to accompany it. Or the team is forced to scramble to please a dictatorial client who doesn’t know advertising from his elbow. Who knows?

In my makeover, I have cast a broad net and touched on as much San Diego fun as possible within reason. And I have provided a much more prominent display of the invitation to visit the San Diego Web site, along with a much stronger reason to respond.

I believe my makeover would attract and persuade not only more beach-loving families, but also more vacationers of all kinds. Don’t you?

To send your comments, opinions or suggestions, e-mail me at [email protected]. Or address snail mail to 424 West End Ave., #11-B, New York, NY 10024.

THOMAS L. COLLINS was co-founder and first creative director of Rapp & Collins and is co-author with Stan Rapp of four books on marketing. He is currently an independent marketing consultant and ad maker.