News, the Broken Variety: Cross Your Forehead

erutciP Taken

A friend in the industry suggested we form an offer centered upon "being your own paparazzi." The way the offer would work is we mail out an ad that is a competition for the most lewd, lurid or compromising picture of a celebrity. We have a site where users can upload pictures they take with their cameras or phones. In turn, we have backend advertisers who have lines into tabloid magazines, trashy newspapers and fancy blog and gossip sites who will pay premiums for these types of photos. If you combine mobile content with this idea, and actually get people downloading these pictures from our site to send to their friends, you have a blockbuster viral platform to slam the users and their friends with messages and advertisements! Within two to three weeks we should be live at www.plentifulpeoplepictures.net. Check us out and tell your friends.

Shout Out to the Brooklyn Homeless Crowd

Approximately 2% of the population in Brooklyn, New York is qualified as "homeless", and this figure spiked last week as residents on Kent Ave were evacuated due to infestation. According to reports, one young lady living in the complex snuck sedated chickens in her bag back from Haiti. When she arrived in New York, authorities at international inspection somehow did not detect the chickens in her over-sized carry-on bag. She took them back to her loft on Kent and let the two of them loose. Calling them "Fire" and "Code", they ran around her apartment for days, and the three friends got along famously. The only problem was the chickens were infected with a rare parasite where late at night they would vomit worms, and these worms multiplied and wormed themselves into the pipes of the complex. All units were ordered with an emergency evacuation last Wednesday when "thousands" of worms were pouring out of bathroom and sink faucets. Pest control is currently on the scene trying to rectify the situation, and the chicken-bringer is in hiding. Authorities are offering $50 for any information that leads to the arrest of this woman, Beatrice Rice.

News Broken ‘Cross Your Forehead

Reports show there was an industry brawl at last week’s ThinkLA event in Hermosa Beach, CA. The event was held at a local bar by the name of, "Union Cattle Company." Allegedly, a female employee from Valueclick was riding the mechanical bull and her breast popped out of her shirt during one particularly violent gyration. A member of the bewildered crowd was not bewildered enough to prevent him from grabbing his iPhone and snapping a couple pictures of the runaway teet. The girl’s boss saw him tapping away and seized the phone, calling him a "pervy rodent." The man with the cam jumped on the boss and the two began wrestling on the floor, when other Valueclick team members came to the aid of their employer. Fists were flying and people from all over the bar were piling themselves on the melee, mosh pit style. It was officially "ON" when the buxom bull rider took a leap on top of it all and really gave the crowd a reason to cheer.