Stupid Political Watch: Umm … You’re Welcome … I Guess

Another week, another stupid political e-mail, this time from Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer, chairman of the Democratic Governors Association, thanking me for a donation I never made.

Last year during the presidential primaries, I signed up for all for all the viable candidates’ e-mail lists to see what would happen.

Lately, both Republicans and Democrats have apparently been passing my address around like a bag of magic mushrooms at a Grateful Dead show.

Last week’s message from Schweitzer was personalized to Max, my son’s first name, and the name I used to sign up one of two addresses for Hillary Clinton’s e-mails.

Schweitzer’s message definitely was not the result of President Obama’s camp sharing names. If it had been, it would have addressed me as “Stupid,” as his e-mails have done ever since I registered for them under the name “Stupid Poopyhead” to test a flaw in his registration.

“Max,” Schweitzer’s message began.

“We couldn’t have done it without you,” it continued.

“With your generous support, the Democratic Governors Association (DGA) exceeded our May fundraising target by a whopping 225 percent. And as the DGA’s Chair, I want to offer my personal thanks to you for helping us reach and surpass this vital goal.”

Trouble is, they did do it without me.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but I really dislike politicians—all of them. [Hey, I’m a journalist. There has to be at least one group I can look down on. Oh, and lawyers. I can usually look down on them, too.]

While I do give to charity—frankly, not as much as I should—I have never given a dime to any political party or cause.

Why? Because they have yet to form the Coalition for Drinking Martinis and Beer Until You Throw up All Over Yourself, Black Out, and Wake up the Next Day Under the Dining Room Table with Your Pants Down Around Your Ankles and Your Wife’s Underwear on Your Head, that’s why.

So Schweitzer’s message was nonsense. Moreover, I’m not the only one who didn’t donate who received the same message. A Magilla Marketing reader who also signed up for a bunch of political lists last year received one, as well.

“Not only is there list sharing going on, I’m being thanked for contributions I didn’t even make!” wrote the reader in an e-mail to this newsletter “I wonder how generous I was in my phantom giving?”

I am not 100% certain the mailing was a result of a rental from the Clinton camp. I signed up for Gov. Bill Richardson’s campaign using the name “Max,” as well.

However, with her list reportedly a Democrat fundraising powerhouse, my money’s on Clinton.

Interestingly, when I opted out of an e-mail from former Clinton adviser Ann Lewis two weeks ago, the unsubscribe function took me to Clinton’s Web page, automatically unsubscribed me from the list, and offered no way to re-register.

Fortunately, or unfortunately however you look at it, I had subscribed to Clinton’s campaign e-mails using two addresses so my son’s e-mail box was still able to receive Schweitzer’s message last week.

While Lewis’s message made clear I had received it as a result of subscribing to Clinton’s campaign, Schweitzer’s message didn’t say where the Democratic Governors Association got my address. Also, the Schweitzer message’s opt-out function led to a page that allowed recipients to unsubscribe from the DGA’s mailings, but not from anyone else’s list.

What’s going on here? Hell if I know, but it sure qualifies as stupid e-mail marketing.