In our August issue I decried the lack of direct response-themed entertainment on television. (I still think “Everybody Loves Lillian Vernon” would be a great show.)

The new programming season has started — and sadly, Hollywood executives continue to think viewers are more interested in lawyers, doctors and forensic specialists than list brokers, database managers and copywriters. Fools.

However, DM has been cropping up in the non-fictional corners of the idiot box — in a wealth of prime-time ads, reality shows and even the evening news. And guess what? None of the examples I’m about to discuss are (a) negative or (b) about the do-not-call list. Call Al Roker, because I think it’s about to snow in the devil’s neck of the woods.

Marketing Bra-vado

My two alternative headlines for this entry were Pushing Panties and On the Back End, so you know we’re talking about Victoria’s Secret.

The lingerie purveyor made a big splash in the Boston area to celebrate the grand opening (well, really, redesign) of its local stores. About 10 days before the event, I received a postcard inviting me to shop on the grand opening day and receive a free gift with a $50 purchase.

The night before the festivities, Victoria’s aired a relentless stream of commercials, alternating spots for a new bra and the grand opening. The ads appeared on shows as diverse as syndicated programs like “Entertainment Tonight” (for people who want to be sexy like Hollywood stars) to “Smallville” (for people who want to be sexy to sci-fi/fantasy geeks) to “The Apprentice” (for people who want to be sexy to poorly quaffed billionaires) to “Rescue Me” (for people who want to be sexy while rushing into burning buildings).

Yeah, yeah, I know we watch too much TV. What’s your point?

Since there’s nothing I like to do more first thing in the morning than look at undergarments designed for people who’ve never had to run after a child on a playground — much less pop one out — I ventured into a local VS to check out the early morning hubbub.

I was curious to see how effective the postcard-and-TV barrage was, as well as the full-page Boston Globe ad, so I went to a suburban mall store. This was a location that people would have to make a point of visiting and wouldn’t likely just randomly walk by at 9 in the morning.

Even before I entered the mall, I saw a woman walking to her car with a large Victoria’s shopping bag. Inside, another clutched the postcard mailing as she waited for her purchases to be rung up.

The campaign was supplemented by a Web site featuring a sweepstakes to attend a party with supermodel Heidi Klum. Visitors had to complete a multiple-choice survey on the sexiest things in Boston to enter. Sadly, I was unfamiliar with many of the restaurants and bars listed, mainly because I don’t think they offer meals featuring hot dogs, fries or free prizes. What, a “Shark Tale” wind-up bath toy ain’t sexy enough for ya?

Did the campaign generate store traffic? That morning, it appeared to have done the trick. There were a number of women shopping and browsing. Maybe it was the lure of the free gift — the makeup and creams inside the bag were full size, and even though the women pictured on the satchel really should cover up a bit, hey, it was free. Who doesn’t love free?

Shilling for the Donald

Heck, the Trumpmeister probably loves free stuff, too. I mean, you can’t tell me he actually pays for his haircuts.

Candidates on “The Apprentice” took their competition to QVC last month, with each team assigned the task of selecting and selling a product on the shopping channel.

The women picked a low-price point ($27.23) cleaning product called “It Works,” a block that can remove stains from walls. The men opted for a DeLonghi Panini Grill retailing for $71.25.

Six hundred and fifty-nine of the cleaning blocks were moved in 12 minutes, for a total of $17,944.57. In the same amount of time, the men only sold 252 grills — they had hoped to sell 800. Still, it was enough for them to win with a total of $17,955 in sales.

QVC was the night’s real winner — the show ended up being a terrific branding hour for the shopping net.

Shooting for Votes

The same night as that episode, “NBC Nightly News” featured a story on how both President Bush and Sen. Kerry are targeting a select segment of voters they see as crucial to winning the campaign: the Cabela’s male.

Yep, you read that right. The hunting and wilderness enthusiasts who patronize the catalog’s pages and stores are a prime demographic in this year’s election.

It makes me wonder what other catalog audiences are ripe for the candidates. I’d try to write something funny, but I really need to go watch some television. So do me a favor: Please insert your own Martha Stewart Living joke here. And thanks for watching.

BETH NEGUS VIVEIROS ([email protected]) is executive editor of Direct.

In our August issue I decried the lack of direct response-themed entertainment on television. (I still think “Everybody Loves Lillian Vernon” would be a great show.)

The new programming season has started—and sadly, Hollywood executives continue to think viewers are more interested in lawyers, doctors and forensic specialists than list brokers, database managers and copywriters. Fools.

However, DM has been cropping up in the non-fictional corners of the idiot box—in a wealth of prime-time ads, reality shows and even the evening news. And guess what? None of the examples I’m about to discuss are (a) negative or (b) about the do-not-call list. Call Al Roker, because I think it’s about to snow in the devil’s neck of the woods.

Marketing Bra-vado

My two alternative headlines for this entry were Pushing Panties and On the Back End, so you know we’re talking about Victoria’s Secret.

The lingerie purveyor made a big splash in the Boston area to celebrate the grand opening (well, really, redesign) of its local stores. About 10 days before the event, I received a postcard inviting me to shop on the grand opening day and receive a free gift with a $50 purchase.

The night before the festivities, Victoria’s aired a relentless stream of commercials, alternating spots for a new bra and the grand opening. The ads appeared on shows as diverse as syndicated programs like “Entertainment Tonight” (for people who want to be sexy like Hollywood stars) to “Smallville” (for people who want to be sexy to sci-fi/fantasy geeks) to “The Apprentice” (for people who want to be sexy to poorly quaffed billionaires) to “Rescue Me” (for people who want to be sexy while rushing into burning buildings).

Yeah, yeah, I know we watch too much TV. What’s your point?

Since there’s nothing I like to do more first thing in the morning than look at undergarments designed for people who’ve never had to run after a child on a playground—much less pop one out—I ventured into a local VS to check out the early morning hubbub.

I was curious to see how effective the postcard-and-TV barrage was, as well as the full-page Boston Globe ad, so I went to a suburban mall store. This was a location that people would have to make a point of visiting and wouldn’t likely just randomly walk by at 9 in the morning.

Even before I entered the mall, I saw a woman walking to her car with a large Victoria’s shopping bag. Inside, another clutched the postcard mailing as she waited for her purchases to be rung up. The store itself appeared brighter and more spacious than the old design, but the volume of actual product on display seemed to be less than before.

The campaign was supplemented by a Web site featuring a sweepstakes to attend a party with supermodel Heidi Klum. Visitors had to complete a multiple-choice survey on the sexiest things in Boston to enter. Sadly, I was unfamiliar with many of the restaurants and bars listed, mainly because I don’t think they offer meals featuring hot dogs, fries or free prizes. What, a “Shark Tale” wind-up bath toy ain’t sexy enough for ya?

Did the campaign generate store traffic? That morning, it appeared to have done the trick. There were a number of women shopping and browsing, especially considering that at that early hour the only other businesses open in the mall were a bank and a café. Maybe it was the lure of the free gift—the makeup and creams inside the bag were full size, and even though the women pictured on the satchel really should cover up a bit, hey, it was free. Who doesn’t love free?

Shilling for the Donald

Heck, the Trumpmeister probably loves free stuff, too. I mean, you can’t tell me he actually pays for his haircuts.

Candidates on “The Apprentice” took their competition to QVC last month, with each team assigned the task of selecting and selling a product on the shopping channel.

The women picked a low-price point ($27.23) cleaning product called “It Works,” a block that can remove stains from walls. The men opted for a DeLonghi Panini Grill retailing for $71.25.

Six hundred and fifty-nine of the cleaning blocks were moved in 12 minutes, for a total of $17,944.57. In the same amount of time, the men only sold 252 grills—they had hoped to sell 800. Still, it was enough for them to win with a total of $17,955 in sales.

QVC was the real winner of the night—the show ended up being a terrific branding hour for the shopping net.

Shooting for Votes

The same night as that episode, “NBC Nightly News” featured a story on how both President Bush and Sen. Kerry are targeting a select segment of voters they see as crucial to winning the campaign: the Cabela’s male.

Yep, you read that right. The hunting and wilderness enthusiasts who patronize the catalog’s pages and stores is a prime demographic in this year’s election.

It makes me wonder what other catalog audiences are ripe for the candidates. I’d try to write something funny, but I really need to go watch some television. So do me a favor: Please insert your own Martha Stewart Living joke here. And thanks for watching.