News, the Broken Variety: Dick Cash
Hopeful Democratic Presidential Representative, Hillary Clinton, has recently taken a
decidedly large interest in the booming newsletter syndicate AdFemme.
Some sources say Hillary has developed an "emotional interest" in a
certain member of the organization. Looks like Hillary and me have more in common than I thought! Luckily for Mrs. Clinton, she has an abundance of cash lying around, and has poured $10 million of her own "pocket money" into the marketing and branding of AdFemme. A close source has told us AdFemme will use the money to promote brand awareness, charity projects and a new Corporate Marketing rollout for Q4.
New York AdTech To Feature Religious Gatherings
After the heinous debauchery exhibited at Affiliate Summit Miami, prominent online marketing figures are getting together to promote a "religious unison" at AdTech New York. This is an unprecedented idea, and the thought of bringing a little love and tenderness to AdTech is one that I back wholeheartedly. There will be Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist and Scientology services all on the same day, and members of alternate faiths are encouraged to attend workshops of the religions that they know the least about. As an atheist anarchist, I believe in none of them, so I will attend all just to see what I’ve been missing all these years. Booths will be set up at the front of the show as well, and tentative names are, "The Affiliates of Jesus," "Jews For Ringtones," "The Muslim Mailers," "Peaceful Pop-Ups" and "The Hubbard Hub."
Dick Cash
Vice President Dick Cheney is used to "making it rain" as the kids
say, spraying pimps with bullets if they don’t "act right." Reports
say he is convincing President Bush to pull money out of Iraq in favor of
putting it "on the street." This would entail a massive partnership
with both San Francisco-based Leadclick and Florida-based LeadFlash.
Cheney, citing "two Leads are better than one", broke it down for the DM Confidential. "President Bush and I are going to partner with two of the industry leaders in the ‘helpful financial’ sector of online marketing and
begin issuing payday loans to loyal Americans in need. It is a
venture that will help the Country while infusing her with a newfound
revenue stream."
