News, the Broken Variety: Book Ends

A private, "invite-only" CPA network has just landed a fantastic new product.  They are planning on revolutionizing the lead gen space with their hot new "book buying" program.  This exclusive product features a landing page that offers to buy old, used books that are sitting on people’s book shelves.  Heck, it doesn’t sound like such a bad idea to me.  My ex-girlfriend’s favorite novel ever is "Catcher in the Rye," and she yearned for a first edition of the Salinger classic.  So I tramped around Manhattan and stumbled upon a Vintage book store, and when I inquired, they acknowledged that they indeed possessed a first edition in their arsenal of treasures.  "Fantastic!" I exclaimed, as I had purchased first editions of other popular books a few years back and they were not overwhelmingly pricey.  I laid eyes upon the (relatively speaking) ancient manuscript, and that’s when the saleswoman told me it was… TEN THOUSAND dollars.  Ummmm, I think I will keep walking.  I realized then there is an emerging market in older versions of popular writings, and I see a hot damn future in the second hand book lead gen vertical.  True, no one reads anymore, but people with or without money always have the need to look cool, and a few well preserved classics on their shelves can help them accomplish that feat.

Quantitative Leap

Hooray, hooray, it is Leap Year!  There is this girl named Amanda who I used to know, and I always wondered why was she so dang eccentric and tripped out.  I could not engage a conversation with her of more than three sentences that did not go terribly awry.  Now, I know many conversations with many people end up that way, but I’m talking three sentences MAX, and it happened that way during every point of contact.  Then, eight years ago I discovered the source of all her angst- she called me to invite me to her birthday party- on February 29th.  AHA.  A leap year baby.  That explains it.  You live your life in complete disequilibrium, as you only have a true day to celebrate once ever four years.  Pretty tough odds to be born on that day as is, but being a product of a broken home must accentuate the impact even further.  The reason this comes to mind is that today it was brought to my attention by several affiliates that Leap Year is once again upon us, and this year affiliates are banding together on February 29th for an ANTI-SCRUB day.  They are instituting a clause that if they are ever retro-scrubbed for any reason, they have formed an alliance to blackball the scrubbing network.  Sounds reasonable to me.  Amanda would be proud, and if I can get ahold of her I will make sure she leads the rally.

Rotten on Earth Day

Earth Day should be a good one this year, especially with all the work we are all putting in to recycle, eliminate pollution, save the ozone layer, decrease our trash output, unplug our electrical devices and toil to minimize global warming.  Oh wait, you aren’t doing ANY of those things?  Well what the heck is wrong with you?  You heretic, you loser, chump, dummy, rumpleforeskin, spankchaser, donkey fetus.  Yeah, that’s right.  You are all of those things.  Now you are feeling terrible and willing to put in the work to make a difference?  Glad I got your attention.  Take part in a prominent new campaign amongst us mailers called "Foo foo Food."  It points fun at all the high-class, upper-tier meals that all of us in the affiliate marketing industry enjoy on a yearly basis.  This program calls for taking 10% of what you spend on lavish meals in a month and donating it to charities around the globe.  Specifically, charities in charge of providing aid to those in extreme need.  No, extreme need isn’t when you finish lunch at 12:30 and are forced to wait until 7 for your wife to finish baking the casserole.  Extreme need is eating a piece of bark on Monday, some cardboard and bread that was stale two weeks ago on Tuesday, and maybe chewing on a fish bone on Wednesday.  So fight back and sign up on www.foofoofoodaffiliates.com today.  Thank you in advance for your participation.

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