Itchin’ For Religin’
If I am going to be a man of religion, and follow the ideologies of a man who believes he is good and is going to Heaven, I will have to cease lamenting the lost, the past, and the present. Looking at pictures and letting them sadden you does no good. Assuming this is all we have, and there is no God and no Heaven, you might as well get ill on reality and rage until your days are up. But examine your surroundings. Not the synthetic infrastructure. Examine the earth, with nature and creatures and the divine animal, mankind. Is this all there is, and all there could be? How could a cosmic star have exploded and formulated an existence of such a spectacular and diverse variety? I never knew what I believed, but abiding by the chicken or the egg philosophy, I am obligated to search for the God or the man philosophy. Did We create Him, or did He create Us? A statement of such blasphemy would not be taken lightly by the theologians of my religion or any other, but this is not an incendiary attempt to ignite anger or resentment toward the Digital Mosesnewsletter. Iwant to know if my angst and uncertainty is justified. Ibelieve that this is not all there is, but if I truly believed that, wouldn’t I be free from the unsettling peculiarity that burdens me? Why do we yearn to be self-destructive? Sure, there have been myriad essays, shorts, shows, spectacles, and dictations on the Higher Power and how it affects us, the presence of God and the next life, but this is my first time writing on the subject. Realizing that there have been more wars over religion than there have been over money, that makes the least sense, but then again, it makes the most sense. For many, their faith is more important than wealth. And it should be. That said, perhaps you can view it this way; those in possession of wealth wield the most power, and those with the most power can sometimes dictate religious practices of their people. And the power feeds the desire to control others, and thus, force them into certain behavior. Not in our land, thankfully, but in others. You can practice in your own home, but the communal aspect of religion is what makes it appealing for so many. I do not include myself in the community of public prayers. I was born a Christian, and continue to hold the ideas of Christianity in my heart and mind, but I have attended Temple more than I have Church. In fact, in the last, say, 12 years, I have been to Temple probably ten times, and Church zero. Church is kind of an ostentatious affair anyway. As a youngster, I thought my grandfather was a religious man, but he wasn’t. He was a good man. While driving his white Thunderbird with me in the passenger seat, we passed a Church and he remarked, “look at all the sinners flocking to mass. They’re taking that cracker, and being forgiven of their sins so they can go out this weekend and sin again. Next week you’ll see the same people in line to be forgiven.” In a way, he was joking, and he only believed that about some of them, but I’ve never forgotten it.
The way nutrients from the earth are consumed and digested and excreted, you are telling me this is happenstance? The healing process of the human body? Mental capabilities and hyper-advanced deductive reasoning? Accidents of such proportion seem to be impossible, at least to me. If we exploded onto the earth in our current state, and an explanation was necessary early on for the sake of sanity, therefore the creation of God, what sense does that make? Institutions and strict education and a code of ethics are not necessary for my religion. My religion dictates you be the best person you can be, and don’t minimize the plights of others, while keeping your relative personal plights in perspective. I overact and become unraveled and worked up like everyone, but when I slip into bed at night I know that I am blessed with a life of quality, and I am thankful for every day that I have with my family and the world. What is the most impacting aspect of life? Death? Are we heartbroken that we will never see the person again, or are we frazzled that their miraculous and unique presence on earth will no longer be enjoyed? About a year ago, I was remarking to my father that I couldn’t miss a Friday of work because “I couldn’t be replaced” for that day. “The graveyard is full of people who were irreplaceable,” that’s what my father had to say. If we are to be the practitioners of religion like we are “supposed” to be, death is the second life, right? All of us do-gooders will see each other again in the blissful state known as Heaven. I see a lot of horrific things going on here in earthly reality, so no waydoes Heaven have suicide bombers and murderous thieves and child molesters. We will smile and laugh for eternity, while the living are forced to deal with the f-ups. But can I say, “f-up” in Heaven? What are the parameters? Perhaps upon death, you are given a choice if you have lived a virtuous existence. “You can come with me to Heaven, but no getting your willy played with, and no off-color jokes or drinking or gambling or fighting. Or, I can lay your soul to rest in the ground with your body, and that is how you will be known until the end of time.” Is that God’s standard speech at the gates? And I wonder if you will be given prior knowledge of who you cared about that died before you went to Heaven, who went to Hell, and who opted to have their soul banished to the ground with their body. I know it sounds like a sinister thing to say, but people do possess disgusting secrets, and many carry them to death. What if someone you adored had one of these, and they were sent to Hell, eternal punishment for their earthly wrongdoings. Are you privy to that knowledge before you choose Heaven? With that rationale intact, upon death of a loved one, the people we should harbor the most pain toward are those who we cared deeply for, but knew they were rotten individuals with black souls. When your loafers are in the grass at their plot, you will look down and know that you will truly never see them again. Now that’ssad. Unless of course, you yourself are a despicable piece of trash, in which case, there is no reason to bother with sadness over the baddies, because you’ll be spending plenty more days with them rolling rocks.
I know that the word “forever” scares me, and I wouldn’t want to be somewhere forever unless I knewit was going to be good. Actually, there is nowhere on earth that I would want to be for every second for all of the seconds to come, but that is the point of Heaven. We cannot fathom it, and in turn, are unable to comprehend its blissful nature. The only problem is, all of the things that I like to do would not be considered Heavenly, so what the Hell? I mean, “Heaven.” What the Heaven! I like to laugh. And I like baseball. So if I get to kick it with my family and friends, and laugh and talk baseball, I’m cool. Movies too. But how objectionable a movie are you permitted to watch in Heaven? I’m sure joints like “Requiem For A Dream” aren’t allowed. Actually, you know what, there are no movies in Heaven, and there is no baseball either. Those are earthly engagements, and do not belong. The divine post-mortem state shall not include endeavors of living man.
Heavenly overlap. That is a concept that always confused me. I don’t want all of the fuck-ups who were absolved of their sins moments before death in my Heaven, I can tell you that. I want good people in my Heaven, no matter what religion, color, ethnicity, or personal belief system. If they’re good, they can chill in my Heaven with me. Unfortunately, a lot of people would disagree with that sentiment. Christians don’t want Muslims in their Heaven, and Muslims don’t want Jews in their Heaven, and Republicans don’t want Michael Moore in their Heaven. But why not? What are you guys afraid of? Do you think you are going to Heaven because you are right, or because others are wrong? That’s the difference. If I’m going it’s because I’m right, and that means you’re going as well. And you. And you. Atheists and Wiccans are allowed in my Heaven, but when God rings the dinner bell, they aren’t allowed to say, “That wasn’t God, that was the wind.” Jews for Jesus are allowed in my Heaven, but by the time they get there, they have to have made up their minds. Anyway, I almost skipped over the aforementioned “Heavenly overlap.” Are there separate Heavens for all religions, or only one? There can only be one Hell, right? I wonder which is more likely, multiple Heavens or multiple Hells?
Around a decade ago, before all of the tales of dirty priests were brought to the public with full force, there was a case involving a poor family who lost their infant. The parents of a small baby watched their child die in a car accident, and he had not yet been baptized. The family’s priest told them their child would not be going to Heaven, because he had not been absolved of original sin. Deeming this infant a sinner, he would be banished to Hell. That bothered me quite a bit at the time, so I asked a priest at my Catholic High School. He remarked that Jesus would intervene and baptize the baby, therefore permitting him into Heaven. It was a good enough answer for me.
Do you meet new people in Heaven, or do you congregate exclusively with your friends from the realm of the living? And how about if you are reunited with your wife of 40 years, but when you get there, a new squaw catches your eye that you know “should have been” your wife. Do you ditch your old lady and pick the heavenly one? Strange questions abound. Get them out while you can, because up there, it’s answers only.
Bryan May
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