Is our industry trivial? Certainly not. But can it inspire trivia? You betcha. The semi-annual trivia contest at Williams College, which ran this past weekend, featured a septet of questions on radio advertising.
Per tradition, the contest is hosted by the team that won the last contest. Last May, “Click Here to Get Huge,” the team I played on, took this dubious honor. I believe we are the first team named for a spam e-mail to play: I know we are the first team so named to win.
The contest is run through the Williams College radio station. Teams phone in their answers – or instant message them to two dedicated computer terminals. After watching our volunteers work an eight-hour instant messaging shift fielding rapid-fire questions from four teams apiece, my already considerable respect for service representatives who do this for a living has deepened.
By and large, contestants aced the questions. Surely those of us in the industry should as well. The answers can be found at the end of this column.
1. If you order a Vermont Teddy Bear, you won’t be speaking to a mere phone operator. Oh, no. What specific type of person will be handling your call?
2. What, truly, is the only appropriate way to request Park’s Sausages?
3. We hope you’ll answer this in the appropriately cheery tone: what attraction will you find in Englishtown, New Jersey?
4. Chock Full Of Nuts is the heavenly coffee, heavenly coffee, heavenly coffee. But they had to change their heavenly jingle early on. What word was taken out of the lyrics, and what word replaced it?
5. Whose prices were innnn-SANNNNE?
6. When ordering from 1-800-MATTRESS, what omission should you make and why?
7. What two phrases best describe Mr. Footlong Hot Dog Inventor, Mr. Bowling Shoe Giver Outer, Mr. Supermarket Deli Meat Slicer, Mr. Beach Metal Detector Guy, Mr. Parking Attendant Flashlight Waver, and Mr. Nudist Colony Activity Coordinator?
The answers:
1. A “bear counselor.”
2. “More park’s sausages, mom.... Please?”
3. “Ah ha ha ha ha! Rrrrrr-Raceway Park!”
4. “Rockefeller” was dumped, and replaced by “millionaire” (as in “better coffee a millionaire’s money can’t buy”).
5. Crazy Eddie.
6. Leave the last S off, for “savings.” (A teammate who used to work at 800-MATTRESS said that the company also owned the telephone number 800-MATRESS. “People can’t spell,” he observed.)
7. “Real American Heroes,” or “Real Men of Genius,” per Bud Lite.
To respond to this column, please contact rlevey@primediabusiness.com
