A frenzy of pre-houseguest housecleaning uncovered several tangentially DM-related tidbits I’ve been saving. For starters, two months ago I chronicled my adventures with the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum, in which I went from retail store to catalog to Web site to inbound telemarketing in futile search of two Cincinnati Reds commemorative steins (Loose Cannon: Six Strikes – And Counting, Direct Newsline, May 12, 2003). Last week, I was called by a service rep who said she had found them.
Was I delighted that she called back, and that the mugs were delivered within the promised three-day shipping period? You bet. Do I still blame the Hall for not having its communications channels – or even its direct mail and retail databases – linked? Double your bets. Am I amazed at the perseverance of this one highly dedicated employee? Play the trifecta -- and don’t use the same bookie Pete Rose did. I hear he talks.
Second, the Washington Post Style Invitational competition for July 6, “It’s Delete We Can Do,” encourages readers to submit e-mail subject lines guaranteed to get deleted without being opened. The competition, which often celebrates questionable taste, offered example entries “Want to get an advanced degrie?” and “We know a gerbil with a secret crush on YOU!” as example entries.
As it happens, a less-printable variant on one bogus example, “See grandmas in the altogether!” was forwarded to me several weeks ago – and it was “real,” or at least as real as these things go.
Further skirting the line of good taste is an e-mail sent in by Ruth P. Stevens, president of eMarketing Strategy. It was a simple list announcement, to wit:
[VERY PROMINENT LIST COMPANY] announced the creation yesterday of the Farmers' Wives file of 500,000 female consumers in rural areas. The file was segmented from the Farm Market iD list, the only BPA-audited farmer database in the United States, according to [VERY PROMINENT LIST COMPANY]. The base price is $65/M.
What made it worthwhile was an appended observation by James Rapp, vice president of marketing for Media Central Inc.: “A must for every traveling salesman.”
Finally, a petition to the reader who responded to last week’s column (Loose Cannon: Caller’s Id) postulating that telemarketers are actually social workers serving as a safety valve for angry consumers. Your blank e-mail, which contained only the subject line “You are a very sick person,” can be taken both as a compliment and a condemnation. Please send a hint as to which you meant.
To add to the next collection of odds and ends (yet unscheduled), please contact rlevey@primediabusiness.com
