It’s ironic that shortly after returning from the Ad:Tech online marketing conference, I got wind of a wonderful parody Web page.
First, a recap: The industry’s debate on combating spam seems to be in a holding pattern. To wit: It’s out of control, prosecution of spammers is necessary as long as one’s own messages aren’t caught in the dragnet, and requiring marketers to pay for e-mail will be the death of us all.
Whew! The industry needs a breather! Thank goodness, therefore, for John Walkenbach’s wrinkle on the subject. The San Diego-based spreadsheet technology consultant has cobbled together a mock electronic marketing conference brochure. The twist is that it’s geared toward Nigerian e-mail scam artists.
Anyone with an e-mail account will immediately recognize the welcome message’s tone, which ostensibly comes from a senior assistant leader of the Revolutionary United Front of Sierra Leone.
"I present to you an urgent and confidential request: I request your attendance at The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference. This is an excellent opportunity to meet your distinguished colleagues, learn new marketing techniques, and spend your hard-earned money. Attending this conference demands the highest trust, security and confidentiality between us."
The tone and presentation will be very familiar to dedicated conference-goers. F’rinstance, sessions include "a lively debate between Lady Mariam Abacha and Mr. Godwin Oyathelem. Topic: ‘The effectiveness of using all UPPERCASE characters’"; Mallam Mahmud Abacah answers the question, "Are 10 million emails a day too many?" and a workshop: "Grammatical errors: What's the optimal number?"
The brochure features reactions to past conferences ("My business has increased by 45%, and I am now experiencing an 89.4% ROI" - Mariam Abacha; "I AM FIRMLY CONVINCED THAT USING UPPERCASE LETTERS MAKES MY WRITING MORE EFFECTIVE." - Mr. Ibrahim Ahmed).
It even touts a hyperlink to The Abuja Sheraton Hotel’s site, which as far as I can determine is a real hotel located in the Nigerian capital.
The full text is available at http://www.j-walk.com/blog/docs/conference.htm
Do a few of the entries cross the line into questionable taste? Perhaps, especially for those with a righteous sense of political correctness. Like most forms of humor, satire is heavily reliant on timing. Readers with delicate sensibilities may wish to put off reading this until they’ve been properly primed, perhaps after they’ve received 30 or so Nigerian scam solicitations.
This should take roughly half an hour.
To respond to the opinions in this column, please contact rlevey@primediabusiness.com
