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Please Bee Helpful

Ah, autumn. Time to rake up a few stray thoughts that have fallen around my desk. If you're really looking for a way to do some back-to-basics customer relationship management, take a look at your company's phone system. How quickly and easily can callers get the information they need? Are they helped (either by an automated line or live person) in a timely manner, or do they just get the runaround

Ah, autumn. Time to rake up a few stray thoughts that have fallen around my desk.

  • If you're really looking for a way to do some back-to-basics customer relationship management, take a look at your company's phone system. How quickly and easily can callers get the information they need? Are they helped (either by an automated line or live person) in a timely manner, or do they just get the runaround until they hang up in frustration?

    I recently attempted to contact a large industry vendor for comment on a news story. I had a main number for the person I wanted to interview but no direct line. Feeling brave, I decided to try the automated system rather than going straight to the operator.

    Press 1 for a names directory. Enter your party's name, followed by the pound sign.

    I type in the last name, and the pound sign.

    You have not entered enough characters. If you only entered the last name, please enter the last name, followed by the first name.

    I type in the last name, followed by the first.

    That combination is not recognized. Please enter the first name and last name.

    I type in the first name, followed by the last.

    Code 3582 is not recognized in our system. Goodbye.

    And I'm disconnected. I call back, and go straight to the operator. And, by the way, I never did connect with the party I wanted to reach by deadline. I ended up speaking with several of its competitors, though.

  • Here's another phone-related thought: Keep your inbound reps well informed about your products, especially seasonal items.

    Like all new moms, I get a little goofy about celebrating special milestones. Baby's first Halloween was no exception. I started looking around online for the perfect disguise for my little one in late August, and happened upon an adorable bee outfit at OldNavy.com for $19.50. The price was right, but the description alluded to the yellow- and-black-striped vest and not the black long-sleeved fleece one-piece needed for underneath.

    I called Old Navy customer service and spoke to a very courteous rep, who read the information she had available (little more than what was on the site, I'm guessing) and said the black shirt/pant undergarment apparently wasn't part of the costume. I thanked her and said it was a little weird there was no link to purchase the item(s), essential for the costume since Oct. 31 can be a very chilly night.

    “Y'know, that's a good idea,” she said. “You should work here.” (I'm still waiting for the job offer.)

    I went back on the site and prowled around, looking to see how much it would be to purchase the separates. They were nowhere to be found, and since black isn't exactly a popular choice for baby clothes, I ended up purchasing another more expensive bee costume at the Gap, because it was an all-in-one jumper.

    A week later, in an Old Navy retail store, I saw the costume — which came with the black undergarment. I bought it and returned the pricier Gap outfit. This was a sale saved for Old Navy despite its own uninformed — but exceedingly polite — customer service staff.

    Of course, on one level, it never lost the sale, since Gap and Old Navy have the same corporate parent. But it's better to have the busy bees in your call center buzzing with the right data, isn't it?

  • I occasionally do other glamorous things besides talk on the phone, like go grocery shopping.

While waiting in line one afternoon, the woman in front of me picked up a copy of First for Women and tossed it into her basket. She looked at me and shrugged. “I can't help myself,” she said. “They draw me in with the headlines.”

“That's OK,” I said. “It's fun reading, right?”

“But there's nothing to it, no substance,” she said, looking at the cover and shaking her head.

“There's nothing wrong with brain candy,” I offered.

“It's not even at brain candy level. It's just these headlines, they get me,” she countered, reading off copy about conquering your expanding waistline and finding ways to have more energy.

There's definitely something to what she's saying. Think about it: Is your outer copy so good you can draw people in who wouldn't normally have any interest in your envelope/catalog/magazine? Preaching to the choir isn't a challenge — but evangelizing to the rest of the hooligans is.

BETH NEGUS VIVEIROS (bethdirect@aol.com) is executive editor of Direct.

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