Disturbing news from the media-buying front this week, folks: It seems that pharmaceutical players are cutting their television advertising, according to the Wall Street Journal.
Why did the pill companies pull back on their spots? Perhaps they reviewed the number of calls to fulfillment centers, or Web hits, when their commercials ran. They might have even been looking at that delightfully anachronistic metric, change in sales.
At the risk of turning their attentions from other direct response mediums, I’d like to point out where our pharmacological friends might have made better choices in matching product to market.
Take touting Viagra during sporting events. Yes, Pfizer wanted to reach a male audience. But not a male audience feeling either the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat. In either case, viewers’ blood was already pumping furiously. Viagra sales? Not bloody likely: Better to save the sports spots for Atacand, or other heart failure drugs.
What mankind’s little blue friend needs is a television show that practically screams erectile dysfunction. I’ve got two words for our friends at Pfizer: McLaughlin Group.
I’ll further fault the drug companies for not paying attention to the world around them. There is a very good reason why Crestor and other cholesterol wonder drugs have not been successfully pushed on TV recently. The answer lies with Ms. Martha Stewart.
Stewart has either been in the pokey, or under house arrest, for nearly nine months. Shortly before she was sent up the river, she was asked about her impending incarceration. Stewart replied, “I want to focus on my salad.”
That remark left a bad taste in everybody’s mouth. Stewart should be released from house arrest a few weeks after Bastille Day, and will surely make up for a year of bread and water by whipping up cholesterol-laden French goodies such as egg custards, the mushroom-and-cream-laden Veal Normandie and crepes stuffed with sausage and tomato butter sauce, to say nothing of artfully arranged side trays of Camembert and boursault cheeses.
When that happens, to heck with Maalox: That will be a Lipitor moment if ever there was one.
Next, look ahead to the fall lineup: It’s filled with pulse-elevating programs such as “24” and “Desperate Housewives.” Who can fall asleep after watching Kiefer Sutherland save the world for Eva Longoria, Felicity Huffman and Terri Hatcher? Why, everyone – provided that Ambien, the insomnia-relief pill, is advertised, preferably during the second half hour.
Granted, some drugs will require more creative placement than others. Take Celebrex, which alleviates osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis and other painful maladies. This doesn’t exactly lend itself to sponsorships. Or does it? The drug is also effective in treating rectal polyps.
Maybe it’s time for C-SPAN to take sponsors.
To respond to the opinions in this column, please contact e-mail: rlevey@primediabusiness.com
