I am happy to report that some wise guy or guys (or gal/s) have created a Twitter account under the name FakeKenMagill chiding me for an article I wrote a while back headlined: “Why I Don’t Tweet.”
“On August 25, 2009 I posted an article titled ‘Why I Don’t Tweet’ for my marketing blog,” says copy explaining the account. “That is why this account is run by the Fake Ken Magill. Because the real Ken Magill says ‘I don’t think my random thoughts are of interest to anyone.’ Ken when you change your mind, and you will, let us know and we’ll be happy to point your fans to the real thing.”
Thankfully, whoever did this chose the more flattering photo of me that resides on Direct.com as opposed to the one taken from below that begs the exclamation: “Whoa! Look at the chins on that guy!”
That anyone would take the time to bust my chops this way is truly an honor. Thank you whoever you are. I am flattered and humbled.
But in any case, let’s say I do change my mind one day. What would the real Ken Magill’s tweets be like?
“Holy Sh!t my head hurts. Got to stop drinking.”
“Yow. Tongue feels like you could comb it. No more cigars.”
“Ass itches. Must scratch now.”
“Ahhhh. Much better.”
“It’s 2 a.m. Undies! Undies! Undies! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
“Woke up in closet with wife’s bra on head. What the hell happened? Must have been fun. How to explain this?”
“Dreamt I peed in my underwear drawer. Hey. Wait a minute.”
“Wife says after last night, neighbors will never come over again. What the hell happened? Must have been fun.”
“Owee. Head hurts. Have to stop drinking.”
“Wife says dinner out was a disaster. Got thrown out of restaurant. What the hell happened? Must have been fun.”
“Ass itches like hell again. Should probably go see a doctor.”
“Saw doctor. Ointment prescribed. Going into the bathroom now.”
“Ahhhh. Much better.”
“Dreamt I brushed my teeth with ass ointment last night. Hey. Wait a minute.”
I think it’s probably best for all involved that for now I keep my promise not to tweet.
Network
