Like all the big milestones in life, buying a house gives one a chance to experience the best--and worst--in direct marketing and customer service.
The ink wasn't even dry on the closing papers when my husband and I began receiving direct mail pitches for just about anything one could imagine a new homeowner would need. Furniture? Yeah, there are some things we could use. Window treatments? Sure, when we get a bit more settled. Lawn maintenance? Definitely, since years of apartment living hasn't exactly cultivated our green thumbs. Our own personal putting green? Um, no, I don't think so. The bowling alley took up all our extra room.
Having to wait several weeks to get our phone lines installed has spared us temporarily from telemarketing solicitations. Of course, having no phones is inconvenient on several levels. In a cosmic way, maybe our old telephone service provider wanted to help. When I called to inquire why the number in our old apartment was still active four days after the scheduled cutoff, the rep happily informed me that it would be shut off …in September. She quickly made the correction, but told me that even though it was their mistake, I couldn't be credited immediately and would have to wait until after I received my final bill. I fumed and thanked her for making me happy I was switching providers.
And then there's the joy of address changes. While I know there are newfangled automated ways of doing this online in one swell foop, I like the personal touch of contacting my magazines and credit card companies myself, so I can see how they handle this simple request.
The Web, in theory, should make this so easy. One magazine had a handy dandy customer service section on their site, which looked up my account quickly and accurately, even though I wasn't quite sure how my name read on the address label. After roaming another site fruitlessly for five minutes, I sent an e-mail to the only thing vaguely resembling a customer service address. Since I received no response a week later, I tracked down a copy of the periodical, e-mailed an address there (points off for no 800 number) and finally got it changed.
I'm just giddy with anticipation at what fun DM/customer service interactions other life milestones will bring, especially the final hurdle we all face. C'mon, you don't really think you'll DM beyond the grave, do you? I can see it now. "Try the new deluxe Air Cloud 2000! Order now and receive a free can of Halo Sparkle! Operators are standing by!"
