Most people know Tim Kazurinsky as a former cast member of Saturday Night Live.
But what they might not know about the Chicago comedian and writer is that he is also a former advertising copywriter.
"I confess," he said during a luncheon keynote at CADM's DM Days Thursday. "I am an ad man."
Before working at Chicago's famed comedy theater Second City and later SNL, he started his career as a copywriter for a now defunct department store chain in St. Louis. "This was my closest link to direct marketing," he said, because the ads were measurable. If an ad he wrote resulted in 37 TVs being sold, the store manager was happy.
He later moved on to McCann Erickson Chicago and then Leo Burnett. The founder of the latter agency knew the true meaning of brand loyalty, Kazurinsky said, noting that one time the hypoglycemic Burnett collapsed during a meeting and asked someone to quickly get him a candy bar. Before they could leave the room he gasped, "Make sure it’s a Nestle."
With headaches like the do-not-call list, this has been a tough year for direct marketers, said Kazurinsky. Holding up a placard with the word "telemarketing," he lamented that the government has taken the "tele" and effectively the "market" out of the phone equation. All DMers are left with is "ing -- and we can't even use that because of a stupid investment company."
He kindheartedly offered the audience a list of every person in the United States that welcomed telemarketing offers, "all 28 of them," including an elderly person very hard of hearing and a woman interested in any offers pertaining to cats and Lithuanian ceramics.
Direct marketers need to think of new alternatives to get consumers attention, he said, because people aren't interested in envelopes. "But how about a puppy? Who wouldn't want be intrigued by a puppy, especially a puppy whose mouth is stuffed with discount offers or coupons?"
Or, said Kazurinsky, consider red Jell-O as packaging. Price wise, it would be more cost efficient than the standard size number 10 envelope, "especially in quantities over 1,000."
Earlier in the luncheon, Charles S. Downs Chicago DMer of the Year Award recipient C. Eduard Bjorncrantz got a few laughs from the audience himself. Receiving the honor, said the 30-plus year industry veteran, brought to mind the words of Ruth Gordon when the actress won her first Academy Award at age 70: "I can't tell you how encouraging this is."
Bjorncrantz is a partner in The Callahan Group LLC, a Rosemont, IL-based consulting firm. His career has spanned years as a senior executive with Sears, Roebuck and Co., as well time with Lab Safety Supply, Moore Medical, Quill and JC Whitney & Co., where he developed the company's first Web site.
Chicago DM Days concluded on Thursday.
