A few tidbits of truth from the 1999 scrap heap - before we jump-start the shredder and begin a new millennium.
FURLESS FREEBIES. McDonald's redefined the notion of downsizing with its McFurby promotion. By eliminating quintessential elements, like fur and speaking, the burger boys afforded the giveaway of 100 million Furby wannabes.
WHILE SUPPLIES LAST. If they do. Burger King majorly misforecast the appeal of its hot hot hot Pokemon promotion. In an unprecedented open letter published in USA Today, the president of BK actually found it necessary to apologize to America's parents. His promise? To resupply toys "for as long as supplies last." Come again?
DONE DEAL. Dr. McGillicuddy's Schnapps ran a contest for municipalities willing to change their name to McGillicuddy City. The winner: Granville, North Dakota, population 270. A reported sales bump from this effort likely traces to the fact that both of the town's bar owners now feature the brand.
DUMB DIAL. Despite having the correct spelling in front of them, eight percent of respondents to Monopoly's Vote for Your Favorite Token promotion dialed (800) 81TOCKEN. That connected them to a Colleen Klein in Montana. Don't even think about it: Ms. Klein has a new number.
FREE RIDE. In a brilliant move, AOL partnered with Sony Music to burn its typical "100 Free Hours" bonus offer onto top-selling audio CDs sold at music retailers. In so doing, it found a new audience while reducing its notoriously high cost of CD duplication.
FREE SCISSORS. Consumers who paid $19.95 for a pair of new Fiskar's Loppers discovered, only after they opened the package, that the tiny peel-off sticker actually contained an offer for a $24.95 Better Homes Complete Guide to Gardening on CD-ROM - absolutely free.
BIG LITTLE IDEA. Domino's drivers inserted an inexpensive one-color flyer into local mailboxes declaring that "Your street has been named Street of the Week" and offering 50% off pizzas. Think about it: Controlled distribution of media, efficient use of driver time, and trial-generation by high-propensity prospects.
BELITTLING IDEA. Brassiere marketer Personal Beauty Unlimited announced a search for "the world's biggest breasts." The winner will receive a - ta-ta-da - lifetime supply of brassieres! It's true. Check it out at www.biggestbra.com.
SHORT-SIGHTED. American Airlines sells private membership information to other marketers, permitting them to make sleazy "hidden agenda" offers like "5,000 Bonus Miles!" (if you switch to MCI) or "Free Companion Ticket" (if you sign for a Citibank card). It's a practice tantamount to self-destructive branding. Now that Congress has passed legislation prohibiting deceptive sweepstakes practices, let's hope these kinds of tactics are next - before practitioners commit brand suicide.
SHORT MEMORIES. Following its 1999 ethics scandal, the Olympic Committee fretted that the fallout would be sponsors reluctant to associate with purported shady behavior. The nail-biting is over. Gateway Computer just picked up a bargain sponsorship of the 2002 Winter Games for $20 million, and the committee expects a flood of marketing bucks.
OVER & UNDER. Hammacher Schlemmer overlayed promotion atop whimsy to get reader involvement in its holiday catalog. The front cover featured a must-have "authentic rickshaw" priced at $7,500. As added value, shoppers were offered a whopping 150 bonus air miles. Didn't you just want to dash to your phone?
OVERBOOKED. Sure sex sells, but who could have predicted a sell-out? Victoria's Secret's Valentine's Day Fashion Show was just that. Problems began when viewers of the event's Super Bowl advertising found they could not access the promotional Web site. Of those who did, some saw fuzzy images or found their computers crashing. Imagine that! A million and a half action-starved male football viewers actually bothered to log on to a site featuring nothing but near nakedness? Go on!
