Rich Siegel isn’t the first person to turn the tables on Nigerian scam artists and publish the e-mails, but he certainly is one of the funnier ones and he’s put them into a book.
Warning: There are references in this article some may find offensive.
“Tuesdays with Mantu: My Adventures with a Nigerian Con Artist” begins with Siegel checking his computer—after commuting 53 miles to and from his job as a creative director at advertising agency, having dinner, reading the paper and putting his kids to bed—only to find an e-mail with the subject line EXCELLENT OPPORTUNITY from Mantu Ibrahim from Nigeria.
The e-mail is clearly a Nigerian advanced-fee, or 419 scam—so named after the pertinent section of Nigerian law—in which the scammer promises a huge sum of money to the recipient if the recipient helps the scammer spirit an even larger amount of money out of Nigeria.
If the recipient bites, the scammer will typically require some up-front fees to pay off Nigerian officials. If things go the scammer’s way and the recipient is gullible enough, unexpected “fees” keep appearing and the recipient will keep paying them in order not to lose the money he or she has already paid.
There have also been reports of people traveling to Nigeria to recoup their losses and disappearing.
In March, it was reported that Louis A. Gottschalk, the founding chairman of the department of psychiatry at UC Irvine, had wired as much as $3 million to Nigeria as the result of a 419 scam. Gottschalk’s son won a court order preventing his father from sending any more money to Nigeria.
The elder Gottschalk gained prominence in 1987 by announcing that Ronald Reagan had been suffering from diminished mental ability as early as 1980.
In “Tuesdays with Mantu,” Siegel decides to engage would-be 419 scammers and the results are at times hilarious.
Siegel gives his e-mail alter egos names such names as Richard Gosinya—Dick for those who are a little light in the bathroom humor department—or Maude Flatio Riffic and Boris Beecha Kockoff.
Throughout Siegel’s e-mails are cultural references that would tip off anyone with even a passing knowledge of famous and infamous American figures that the e-mails are gags, and that the scammers are being strung along.
Siegel’s scam artists, however, never catch on.
The following letter from “Maude” is an example:
“Dear Mr. Tajudeen,
Do you really think I look like Celine Dion? People say I look like Mariah Carey, but I think Celine Dion is prettier. Maybe marriage is in the cards for both of us.
I’m sorry that I keep missing your phone calls. I have been sleeping at my friend, Susan B. Anthony’s house.
Susan is strung out on crystal meth and I’m trying to help her go cold turkey. So I’ve been spending a lot of time at her doublewide. I wish I didn’t have to, because her boyfriend, Joe DiMaggio, is a bat-swinging wife beater.
I have received several e-mails from Mr. Okafor and Mr. Nduka. They even sent me an application form. I won’t be able to scan it. I had to return the scanner to my neighbor John Lee Gacy. He had a new batch of clown pictures he needed to scan and then he lent it to another neighbor, Ted Bundy.
I had an excellent two nights at the diner and made $578 in tips. Of course then I had to spend $40 to buy some Atavan for Susan B. Anthony so she could sleep.
Will you be coming to America? I would like to celebrate my new wealth with the man who made it possible for me to quit the diner and pay off my Wal-Mart credit card.
Thank you so much, Mr. Trajudeen. I want to give you a big hug and a kiss.
Yours fondly,
Maude”
In the introduction, Seigel says it is understandable if the reader begins to feel sorry for his Nigerian counterparts. After all, it is they who end up being scammed by having their time wasted. But it is important to remember they are crooks, Siegel reminds us.
The reminder shouldn’t be necessary. Nigerian 419 scammers are indeed, crooks. And one shouldn’t feel remotely sorry for them.
Moreover, one shouldn’t feel too sorry for the people who fall “victim” to 419 scams. After all, at the very least they think they’re helping illegally spirit millions of someone else’s dollars out of an impoverished country. They are would-be thieves, as well.
Siegel also apologizes for sometimes being politically incorrect. He shouldn’t.
“Tuesdays with Mantu” gives at least one half of the 419-scam equation at least a little of what they deserve.
