The High Notes of 09: The CMmy Awards Honor the Best of the Year

MOST CARBONATED PARTY PEOPLE: SIERRA MIST

Sure, creatively delivering cold cans of a new soda to friends hanging out at a backyard pool party will set off some word of mouth. But will it really generate true interest — and sales — for a brand? This summer, Pepsi handpicked a group of “influencers” with help from Grow Marketing to spread word of mouth for the new Sierra Mist Ruby Splash at about 300 parties, each attended by 16 to 45 people. One influencer was a musician who hosted a backyard jam session for 20 friends. A crew arrived and dropped off ice-cold cans of Sierra Mist Ruby Splash, branded sunglasses, misters and car fresheners with a Ruby Splash scent. Another, the owner of the Rider Skate Board Shop, hosted an outdoor movie night to debut a new surf film. Results were determined through field research, syndicated data, sales and coupon redemption. Party on! — Patricia Odell

SILLIEST STUDY: SPAM'S CARBON FOOTPRINT

In what has to be the most laughable e-mail-related study in history, Internet security firm McAfee published a report claiming spam is a major contributor to greenhouse gases. According to McAfee, annual spam energy use worldwide totals 33 billion kilowatt-hours. “That's equivalent to the electricity used in 2.4 million homes in the United States, with the same GHG emissions as 3.1 million passenger cars using two billion United States gallons of gasoline,” McAfee wrote. Much of the energy use associated with spam, continued the report, comes from people deleting spam and searching for legitimate e-mail. What — does dealing with spam make people pass gas? According to McAfee, it takes a user an average of three seconds to view and delete a spam message. In an article in the Wall Street Journal — which, unbelievably, covered this study straight faced — an executive from McAfee claimed spam accounts for up to a third of work and personal inboxes. The most flawed assumption in the report was time people spent dealing with spam was that the time they would have otherwise spent away from their computers. Anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that in this always-on society, this is simply not the case. — Ken Magill

BIGGEST BOMB OF A PRODUCT PLACEMENT: PEPSI/MACGRUBER

Of course, in this case being the biggest bomb is a compliment. With MacGruber, it's practically mandatory. Like the old character MacGyver he parodies, MacGruber of Saturday Night Live, tries get out of any jam using found items like chewing gum wrappers and duct tape. Unlike MacGyver, he gets blown up in every episode. SNL took product placement to a silly new level in February, running a series of skits (featuring the original MacGyver himself, Richard Dean Anderson) in which Will Forte's MacGruber wastes time in life or death situations by shilling Pepsi. The spots played during SNL and the Super Bowl, and raised the character's profile so much a feature film is in the works. — BNV

CHEESIEST SILVER LINING: DOMINO'S

If the police aren't called and a human hasn't been injured, a promotion that goes terribly wrong can ultimately emerge as a good thing. Take the case of Domino's. An online promotion was set up to give away free pizzas using the promotion code “bailout.” The campaign never got the green light, but was never deactivated either. An enterprising, hungry Web surfer came upon the promotion and correctly guessed the code. By the time Domino's figured out what was going on, it had to give away more than 11,000 pizzas, primarily in either Salt Lake City, UT, or Cincinnati — where, the chain surmises, a student discovered the code and e-mailed it to a friend. The silver lining? Many who got the free pizza also ordered something else, and thousands more visited Domino's Web site for the first time. Domino's estimated the exposure at 50 million media impressions. — PO

BIGGEST TREE OBSCURING THE FOREST: JOHN GRECO'S SALARY

While the 2009 proxy fight between the Direct Marketing Association board and dissident board member Gerry Pike was nominally about good governance, a fair amount of time was spent debating the merits of organization president and CEO John A. Greco Jr.'s compensation. There were some valid reasons: Was his salary out of line with those of other nonprofit association heads? Were DMA board members remiss in their salary-setting duties? But while both sides — and the community at large — spat beans at each other over this, a much larger issue, the DMA's financial health, fell by the wayside until well into the process when the organization released its 2009 finances. With a $2.7 million operating deficit, a drop in membership of nearly 300 companies, a revenue falloff from $39 million in 2008 to $30.8 million in 2009 and a drop in net assets from $9.5 million to $4.1 million, the DMA's monetary concerns went — and go — beyond one executive's compensation. — RHL

MOST NUMER-ILLOGICAL CAMPAIGN: WINDOWS 7

Thanks to a string of previous launch snafus, Microsoft needed to show that its new Windows 7 operating system is, well, different. Over here, that meant house parties and a slew of “My Idea”-themed ads. But abroad, the promotions for the new OS got more creative — as in, weirder. The software giant gave away 777 free copies of the new program to the residents of the Dutch town of Zevenhuizen (“Seven Houses”). A team from Redmond also decorated the rural Spanish village of Sietes (yes, it means what you think) in Windows' trademark colors for a video showing the inhabitants learning to use the new system. But the height of Microsoft's septomania could be measured at five and a quarter inches — the size of the Windows 7 Whopper that went on sale in Japanese Burger Kings for a week after the software launch in October. A stack of seven flame-grilled beef patties, lettuce, tomato, pickle, ketchup and mayonnaise went on sale for seven days, and in fact the first 30 customers a day at each store got the Godzilla-size meal for 777 Japanese yen (about $8.55 U.S.). So far, no one's drawn any unflattering links between Microsoft's tradition of bug-ridden launches and the 7x risk of e.coli contamination. — BQ

MOST OFF-TARGET/OFF-COLOR MAILING: VISA BLACK CARD

Whenever I receive an unusual direct-mail prospecting piece, I invariably wonder what list I must be on in order to have been selected by the marketer as a target. For example, a credit-card pitch arrived recently indicating someone thinks I'm really well off — I'm not; I'm moderately well off, but my credit score is good — and that I'm elitist and superficial. The pitch arrived in a matte black envelope, the back of which said: “INVITATION ENCLOSED.” Inside was a simple postcard that said: “GET YOUR EXCLUSIVE BLACK CARD NOW, THE WORLD'S MOST PRESTIGEOUS AND VERSATILE CREDIT CARD.” However, it came at a cost: $495 annually. What did the card offer for such a high fee? According to VISA, it is made of carbon and will get the cardholder noticed. Plus, it offers 24-hour concierge service. Sorry, no thanks. If Visa's database profilers were doing a proper job, they could have easily tailored an offer just for me: The Visa Blackout Card. “In Your Grandfather's Day, You'd Have Been Considered a Cigar-Chomping, Hard-Drinking He Man,” the headline could read. “In the 21st Century, You're Considered a Pathetic, Unenlightened, High-Functioning Alcoholic. Get the Exclusive Visa Blackout Card.” — KM