And it’s a history-making distinction
Hey, everyone! I made history!
I am proud to report that I'm the first private citizen I know of to have been officially called stupid in an e-mail from America's first African-American president. Heck, I may be the first private citizen to have been officially called stupid in an e-mail from an American president ever!
My history-making moment came when Barack Obama sent his first message as president of the United States to his 13 million-name e-mail list urging recipients to “spread the word” and build support for his economic plan.
“Stupid,” mine began.
“The economic crisis is growing more serious every day, and the time for action has come.”
Why did Obama call me Stupid?
Well, last February — wow, it's been a year…my, how time flies — I registered my e-mail address with the name Stupid Poopyhead on Obama's campaign Web site to test a reported flaw that allowed people to enter any e-mail address and sign up any name, even a ridiculous one.
It worked. As a result, Obama addressed me in e-mails as Stupid throughout his campaign. Using the last name “Poopyhead” apparently was considered too much of a formality.
Moreover, when Obama selected Joe Biden as his vice presidential running mate, Biden began addressing me in e-mails as Stupid. We were all one big, happy campaign-trail family.
But after Obama was sworn in, his campaign manager David Plouffe — who had called me Stupid in the past — sent a message addressing me as “Friend.”
I was crestfallen. I had grown fond of Obama calling me Stupid. I mean, how many people can claim that such a major political figure calls them Stupid on a regular basis? None, I bet.
But now his campaign manager was addressing me as the political equivalent of “occupant.”
Was Obama trying to distance himself from me? Cool our relationship off a little? Lower my expectations?
Or now that the campaign was over, had his tone necessarily become more formal?
He is in the Oval Office, after all.
Oh well, I thought. From now on I'd apparently no longer be Stupid — or at least not called stupid by Obama anyway — just plain old friend.
But when I read Obama's first presidential e-mail to me, my heart soared. “Yay! I'm still Stupid!” I thought. “And not only that, I've just made U.S. — no, wait a minute, world…yes, world — history!”
I am honored that President Obama will be calling me stupid for the next four, possibly eight years.
And I'm considering printing that e-mail out and framing it. Hey, you only get to be the first private citizen to be called Stupid in an e-mail by the first African-American U.S. president once, you know.
