This Monster.com ad is one of those you have to really work at to figure out. As often happens, the copy down below in tiny art-director type is not bad, but too many readers will never get that far.
One of my favorite tests of an ad's worthiness is to paraphrase it and see if that uncovers the intended and desired message. At first glance, what is it saying and what is it selling?
When I attempted to paraphrase this ad, I had a hard time.
So I asked several people to help me figure out what is being advertised, what the ad is saying and what the picture is all about. We finally doped out the message, more or less, but not the picture.
The illustration occupying the top three-quarters of the page shows a nameplate with the words, “Instant resume results found JENNY before lunch” on a pinstripe background. Apparently the background is Jenny's pin-striped jacket.
The message is a little confusing. What's the meaning of “instant resume results”? A job seeker posts a resume and gets a call from an employer the same day? Or rather is it the employer who gets “instant resume results”? If so, what does that mean? Did the employer search resumes before lunch, find Jenny's resume, like it instantly, call her in and interview her instantly, hire her before lunch, give her a nameplate and tell her to start work instantly? It's either not very clear or not very plausible. And how many people in desirable midlevel jobs wear nameplates anyway?
But the big mystery is the white object which appears to be made of stretch fabric. A white collar? Part of an undergarment? A large white blossom? A napkin? We never did figure out.
This ad is part of a $125 million campaign which includes print advertising, television and promotion.
In fact, there are two campaigns — one aimed at job seekers, the other at employers. This ad and my makeover are directed to the latter.
I tried to do a makeover that would accomplish both objectives in a single ad, on the theory that a campaign of double-duty ads would cost only half as much. But I found the message too confusing that way and concluded that Monster had made the right decision.
In doing makeovers of click-response ads, I always look to see if there's already some kind of offer on the Web site that will be attractive to prospects and increase their site visits and involvement. Then if I find one, I feature it and dramatize it in my makeover — to, in fact, make it the subject of the ad.
In this case, I found the offer of a “test drive” (online demo) for employers very appealing. How can you resist a free trial of something you are keenly interested in?
I chose as a visual metaphor for “test drive” an automobile steering wheel. This also suggests speed and being in charge, both of which are appropriate to the promise.
Then I call out to the prospects (employers) with the simplest, clearest statement of the promise and the offer.
In my body copy, I spell out the rationale for the service and the offer. Monster is bigger and therefore must be better (because it has more to offer both employers and job seekers).
From time to time I've mentioned the guiding principles I use in evaluating an ad or makeover. I've finally collected them all into a system of 10 points which I call “The Makeover Maven Measuring Stick.” By giving each point a score, on a scale of 1 to 10, you can arrive at a total score for the ad or makeover being evaluated.
Here, in brief, are the points:
- Flag and snag the prospect.
- Identify the product or service.
- State or imply the problem.
- State or imply the benefit(s).
- Strengthen the verbal with the visual.
- Invite reading with the typography.
- Build brand recognition and trust.
- Don't hold back the Web site's best sales points.
- Include outside recognition if possible (awards, reviews, testimonials, etc.).
- Encourage and reward response and involvement.
Not all 10 principles can be applied in every ad. But the more that can be used, the stronger the ad will be.
Want to try it?
Look at the “before” and “after” versions of the Monster ad and on a scale of 1 to 10 rate the use of each principle, then add up all 10 scores to get a total. For example, take Principle No. 1: Flag and snag the prospect. (Hint: the prospect in this case is an employer or manager who needs to fill jobs with good people, hopefully at lower recruitment cost.) I would give Monster's own ad a score of 1 on this point — and my makeover a 10.
Applying in the same way the other nine measurements, I come up with a total score for Monster's ad of 8 or 9, and for my makeover a total score of at least 95. This could mean that my makeover would result in 10 times as much advertising effect and 10 times the number of responses for the same amount of money.
See how it works? Now try it, and check if your score agrees with mine.
I have printed up copies of The Makeover Maven Measuring Stick, with a brief explanation of each point, in the form of a bookmark. If you would like me to send you one, let me know. It can serve as a handy reminder of what to look for in measuring the effectiveness of your own click-response advertising and that of others.
THOMAS L. COLLINS (thomas.l.collins@verizon.net) has been a direct marketing copywriter, admaker, agency creative director and co-author of four books on marketing. He is currently an independent creative and marketing consultant based in Portland, OR.
If you see a direct response or click-response print ad that you think is crying out for a makeover, clip it out and send it to me at 1350 S.W. Upland Drive, Portland, OR 97221. To e-mail comments and opinions: thomas.l.collins@verizon.net.
