During two recent Capitol Hill hearings, direct marketers — who make their living via effective communication — failed to get a simple message across to legislators. The message? That the direct response industry's recent investment returns had not been “enhanced.”
The initial hearing, held by the House Reform Committee, focused on artificial means of strengthening each marketing channel, while the Senate testimony concentrated on how the offers themselves had been bulked up in recent years. Direct response TV, with its ever-lengthening formats, was the first to come under fire.
“I refuse to believe the American consumer, who according to a study in 1975 could sit still for only 10 minutes' worth of infomercials, would settle in and watch 90 minutes of infomercials today unless the pitches were somehow more powerful,” said Rep. Elbridge Gerry (R-MA) during his opening comments.
Gerry also noted that while television infomercials have gotten longer, hard news clips have become shorter, and consumers' attention spans were no longer sufficient to tolerate drawn-out, involved messages.
Gerry asked witness Reginald Hubris, a producer for Thumper-Blattstein Television Opportunities, if it was possible for infomercials to become more captivating than real news without enhancement.
“More people want to watch Suzanne Somers use a ThighMaster than watch Ted Koppel demonstrate one,” Hubris responded, sidestepping the issue.
Printed media fared little better. Gerry next confronted Sam Braggadocio, chief marketing officer of Deal Computers, with several examples of the firm's mailers.
“You mailed this…” — Gerry pointed to a catalog the size of a Midwestern telephone book — “…as your most recent effort, whereas in spring 2002 you sent a pamphlet. Would you be willing to fill this…” — he brought out a Deal Computer mug, to laughter — “…with a sample of your mailing list?”
After a brief conversation with counsel, Braggadocio replied, “I could fill it, but we believe that appended data purchased by our modeling consultant was responsible for the mailing's higher results. Since we don't own that overlay data, for security reasons I would not be able to entrust Congress with possession of it.”
“You expect us to believe you went from a 3% response rate to a 35% response rate based solely on overlay information?” asked Gerry.
“The numbers speak for themselves,” Braggadocio said.
“They certainly do,” responded Gerry, dropping the catalog into a wastebasket.
“That's recyclable,” Braggadocio observed.
In the Senate, the hearings focused on how even mediocre offers had recently become more powerful. Papi Rendool, a home- and kitchen-gadget marketer, was the DM industry's first witness.
Senate Commerce Committee member Theodore Bilbo (D-MS) began his questioning of Rendool by saying, “This offer started out, in its original incarnation, as six sharp knives for the low, low price of $29.95. But by the time the offer had run its course, it had grown to 12 sharp knives, a bamboo steamer, a pasta colander and a miraculous julienne machine — all for the same low, low price of $29.95.”
Bilbo continued, “I believe an improvement of your offer of this magnitude could only be achieved with pharmaceutical aid. Did these results come about through the application of depo testosterone and Clomid, or as they are more commonly known, ‘The Cream’ or ‘The Clear?’”
“Oh, indeed,” replied Rendool. “But that's not all! With our favorably negotiated marketing program, we got The Cream and The Clear and six doses of androstenedione. And there was more! When we prepaid our marketing firm for the campaign, we were able to add a month's worth of creatine absolutely free!”
The Senate's final witness was not the most important for marketers designing their upcoming campaigns. But Bob Bushy, whose You Can Paint! Products have brought Cassius Marcellus Coolidge's “A Friend in Need” within reach of millions of amateur artists, commented on the role of records and achievements in direct marketing history.
“In 1996, we sold $3.5 million in art kits using one week's worth of two-minute-and-30-second spots that ran after midnight,” Bushy said. “Tune-In Ad Times [a DRTV trade magazine] named it one of the most successful DR television commercials of the 20th century.”
But in 2003 the Sirius Art Center, a rival home- and fine-art firm, surpassed You Can Paint!'s record in just three days.
“These guys came along and sold more than $5 million using a weekend's worth of 30-minute blocks, and Tune-In Ad Times calls it the most successful DRTV art material campaign of all time,” Bushy said.
“Did the magazine acknowledge that the medium had changed, and that you essentially were being judged against different criteria?” Sen. Bilbo asked.
“No,” replied Bushy. “I feel that some sort of notation, such as placing an asterisk next to their sales figures, would be appropriate.”
Julius Windsor-Newton, chief marketing officer for Sirius Art, argued that competition for the late-night television viewer's attention had changed radically since Bushy's company set the record. “[They] did not have to go up against ‘The Sopranos’ and ‘Desperate Housewives,’” said Windsor-Newton, defending his record. “You cannot compare sales records from that era with those of today. We're not going to apologize for having a leg up on You Can Paint! when it comes to selling art kits.”
The hearings are expected to continue until Congress runs out of other issues to noodle around.
RICHARD H. LEVEY (rlevey@primediabusiness.com) is a senior writer for Direct. His Loose Cannon column appears every Monday on Direct Newsline (www.directmag.com).
