Last issue, I shared the results of an informal e-mail survey I did with a group of friends and family members about their attitudes toward direct marketing (Pushing the Envelope, DIRECT, March 1).
Fifteen responses were received — 14 in reply to an e-mail I sent 22 people, and one from the co-worker of a friend who forwarded him the questions. Overall, they gave a thumbs up to catalogs and direct mail, and a thumbs down (or at least sideways) to DRTV and commercial e-mail. I saved the comments on telemarketing for this issue, because quite frankly, there was just too much love in their comments to squash into the column. The telemarketing responses deserved a column all their own. Here's a typical example of the warmth my amigos conveyed.
Telemarketers are the scum of the earth. They are a pain in the *&# selling me $@!p that I don't want like g!#d$%m vacation shares and credit card offers. I especially hate those so-called stockbrokers asking me for $10,000 to invest. Dammit, I don't have 10 cents. Thank God for caller ID. I screen my calls so I won't have to answer the phone and listen to those scum-sucking maggots. I would love to pop one in the mouth.…Gee, do I have a problem with telemarketers? H%ll yeah!”
No, really. Tell me how you feel.
Admittedly, that was the strongest response I received. But his comments weren't out of line with what everyone else said, just more…colorful.
“Telemarketers have turned a perfectly good technology like the telephone into a source of annoyance,” offered one family member. “I think it's bogus that I should have to ask not to receive those calls, or should have to spend money on technology to screen or reject them.”
Only one respondent has ever made a purchase from a telemarketer — and that was just to change a phone plan. Of course, you have to get someone to listen before you can make a sale. Out of my posse of consumers, only five said they ever even take time to listen to a telerep's spiel. One listens occasionally to be polite (if she's not in the middle of changing her infant daughter's diaper), and two said they'll stay on the line sometimes…if the rep pronounces their last name correctly. Another does listen to pitches from nonprofits that they support. As for the last listener, well, he listens by proxy. He's found that handing the phone to his two-year-old son and saying “It's mommy on the line” is a very effective — and satisfying — tactic.
Maybe he should get together with my husband's cousin, who has her own creative way of getting revenge.
“I'll tell them I'm an interactive answering machine, that I'm not home and I don't know when I'll be home,” she said.
However, some were sympathetic to the plight of the person making the call.
“My first job out of college was working with a bunch of telemarketers, so I tend to cut them some slack,” said one woman.
“They're just doing their job like the rest of us,” said another. “I don't like them calling the house during dinner time — or really, any time. But I do feel for them because I'm sure they have their share of people who give them plenty of grief by the end of their work day.”
“Telemarketing's ranks are no doubt filled with many college-educated, capable persons who are no doubt only in telemarketing in an effort to seek out some form of meager income because the economy can't provide something better for them,” offered another respondent. “It's the bane of 21st century employment and doesn't benefit anyone, save their respective employers and the employment statistics for politicians.”
Another also tries to be gallant, even though she can't stand them. “I tend to cut them off quickly but I am polite. ‘Thanks, but I'm hanging up the phone now. Have a good evening.’”
One respondent, who said she's thankful for the New York State do-not-call directory, said while she's never made a purchase from a telemarketer, she will ask them occasionally to send more information in writing. “They hate that.”
BETH NEGUS VIVEIROS (bethdirect@aol.com) is executive editor of DIRECT.
