Here's the mail, it never fails. It makes me want to wag my tail. When it comes, I want to wail maaaaaiiill!!!! — Joe and Steve, “Blue's Clues”
OK. Not really. Well, maybe sometimes.
I have to admit I get a little giddy when I go to pick up my mail at the post office after a week on vacation. There's nothing like a huge stack of catalogs, letters, magazines and the like to make a gal feel popular. And, it gives us a perfect chance to do one of the patented Pushing the Envelope semi-regular looks at a week in a “typical” American family's mailbox. What are direct marketing's finest using to entice consumers this summer? Anything new, exciting or seasonably “hot”? Let's see.
First, let's dispense with the stuff I expected. The magazines go to the top of the pile, with Entertainment Weekly getting priority, since I know my son will want to grab it quickly because of the “Transformers” cover. There's also some bills and bank statements. (Thankfully, just a small stack.)
Oooh — and here's more bills, but they're not mine. A pile of misdelivered mail (including what looks like a credit card statement and an insurance ID card — yikes!) for another family (bad mail person, bad mail person!) goes next to the purse to be dropped in the mailbox for redelivery next time I go out.
Now on to the good stuff, the direct mail.
I'm shocked to find only two credit card offers (AAA Visa and Amex Business). What, our money's no good to you? Actually, it's cool. We're full up on credit at the moment, so less to shred.
Fidelity Investments wants our greenbacks though, in the form of a brokerage account. Probably not today, even with the free 25,0000 AAdvantage miles, thanks.
The nonprofits are out in full force with nine pieces, including two bearing address labels and one in Spanish, which no one in our home speaks. Sorry, Padres Columbanos, “Viveiros” is Portuguese. (And FYI, other than a few curse words, none of us can speak Portuguese either.)
WGBH, Boston's PBS station, makes an interesting offer of a one-year membership at 30% off the regular rate, which we may take it up on. And Mass Audubon scores with a very simple yet spiffy thank-you for a donation I made to the Bird-a-Thon fundraiser, which my son's teacher participated in. Instead of hitting me up for a follow-up donation with the thank-you (à la the same week's mailing from Make-a-Wish), they gave me a very detailed report of the event, including which sanctuaries viewed the most bird species. (Jake's teacher's Drumlin Farm team tied for first — hooray!)
Sierra Club gets me to open its package with a twofold approach. The “Don't let them get away with it!” headline on the front intrigues me, while the backpack premium on the other side of the envelope hits my more materialistic nature.
Inside there's a lot of stuff, so much that I'm losing it as I type. There's a four-page letter, a BRE and two buckslips, plus a reply card touting the backpack and two tear-off petitions for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. Then there's another flier about the backpack, a car window sticker, two long strip calendar stickers (these are neat — fit perfectly on the edge of my keyboard drawer) and another flier about the California Giant Sequoia, which is what the envelope headline wants donors to help save.
All the pieces are well done, but there's a little too much here. It's confusing, and think about it: Sure, recycled paper was used, but this is still a wasteful effort.
Target hits the bull's-eye with one of its nifty “Hello, Goodbuy” clipless coupon mailings. A card that can be scanned by the cashier for discounts on 18 different items is part of the package. It's a cool idea, even if I always do forget to bring the card with me when I go shopping.
RCN and Verizon hit us with mailings about phone, cable and broadband services (RCN tries in both Spanish and English — at least they got it half-right).
The catalogs and business mail (I have a home office) are nothing spectacular. The only thing that really catches my eye here is the brochure for DMA Annual, because it's never too early to start planning one's conference agenda, is it?
Yikes. Is October closing in on us already?
I need another vacation. Hold my mail.
