James Bond nemesis Auric Goldfinger famously said, “Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.”
Given this rule of three, what should I have made of the poop-related items that crossed my desk in advance of The Incentive Show, a premiums showcase held recently in New York?
First was a press kit from Giftybox, which touted several prepaid gifts, including a French dinner for two; activities centered around gourmet chocolate; and a series of classes. For those not able to take advantage of its New York City-based items, the company also offered The Custom Shirt Giftybox.
The Custom Shirt Giftybox is apparently a new product. So new that the company didn't carefully proofread the first press release it sent out. In one instance, Giftybox managed to leave the “r” out of shirt.
The company corrected this in the material it handed out at the show, but was still describing the package each Giftybox came in as being 7’ x 7’ – that’s seven feet by seven feet, not the box’s actual size of seven inches by seven inches.
To put it bluntly, that’s a lot of shirt.
That was a happenstance. A coincidence arose when a message from Compact Classics, showcasing “Passing Time in the Loo,” a bound volume of two-page summaries of the world’s greatest books, arrived a few days later. For those companies not wishing to imprint bathroom reading with their name, Compact Classics also offers a sanitized tome titled “Touch of Classics” (same content, different cover).
Primed with this scatological coincidence, once at the Incentive Show it took me a moment to realize that The Video Naturals Co.’s “The Original Christmas Yule Log” DVD was merely a virtual fireplace, and not a third toilet-related reference.
As I wandered through the exhibit hall, it dawned on me that these premiums and incentives were screaming something, but whatever it was, it definitely wasn’t “direct response marketing.” At The Corporate Presence’s booth, the company was hawking messages colorfully imprinted on a picture frame. Several samples featured the words “You’re Hired” or “You’re Fired” atop each frame, with “The Donald” written across the bottom.
Was Corporate Presence trying to cash in on the recent success of “The Apprentice”? No, a staffer told me: The Trump Organization had actually ordered these. Did The Donald purchase more “You’re Hired” frames or “You’re Fired” frames? The booth workers weren’t saying.
As I’ve written about previous Incentive shows, my distaste for edible premiums imprinted with corporate logos continues unabated. Most bodily functions and advertising don’t go hand-in-hand in my book. I am only slightly less mollified by the idea of putting messages on packs of tissues, such as those offered by AdPack. But these might be ideal venues for allergy medication ads. What better time to be offered more information on ragweed remedies than in mid-sneeze?
The clear winner for an item with DM applications was an LED flashing pin offered by Inlightens. These are small, programmable nametag-sized billboards, capable of holding six 250-character messages.
It’s hard to ignore – or forget – a call to action if it marches across a nametag in fog-piercing red letters. If I ever run a booth at a trade show, every one of my staffers is going to be wearing one of these with our Web site’s URL blinking across it. Heck, I might even program in a promotion code as part of the message – come to our Web site, enter it, and receive a special premium.
Preferably not something poop-related.
To respond to the opinions in this column, please contact e-mail: rlevey@primediabusiness.com
