For my makeover this issue, I draw upon the wisdom of two of the mentors of my youth.
One was Florette McNeese, my inspiring high school creative writing teacher, who passed along to us Ring Lardner's succinct but powerful advice to writing beginners: “Don't say ‘The old lady growled.’ Bring her in and let her growl.” This reminder of the power of the specific in writing has nagged at me ever since. The lesson was later driven home when I read Rudolph Flesch's landmark book, “The Art of Plain Talk.”
The other was my first boss in the direct marketing advertising agency business, Victor O. Schwab of Schwab and Beatty. He was a short, shy, modest, kindly man who flattered and trained his little crew of four or five copywriters by including us — along with the account executives — in his regular Tuesday night brainstorming and planning board sessions.
One of his contributions to the English language was to turn the word “famous” into a verb. When we would fret that the author or service provider we would be promoting did not have very impressive credentials, Schwab would grin mischievously and say, “That's OK, we'll famous him up.”
I have used these two guiding principles in my ad for IMD (the International Institute for Management Development). I have used the power of the specific to bring into focus what makes IMD unique, important and special. And I have “famoused it up” by positioning it not only as a peer of such business schools as Harvard and Wharton, but in certain ways arguably superior.
The page ad for IMD that I chose to make over is not very specific and does not make clear what IMD is and what sets it apart. It spends most of its time and space spinning out an involved metaphor comparing IMD's role in the world of business to that of a great coach in developing a great team.
But if you manage to work your way through it, you still find yourself wondering, “What the heck is IMD? Why is it special? And why should I believe them?” Oh, yes, there's that little slanted banner at the top, “#1 in Europe and #2 worldwide.*” But #1 and #2 at what? You have to get out your magnifying glass to read the tiny white-on-gray explanatory footnote at the bottom. And the illustration — a soccer game? — is part of the new art-director vogue of using a blurry out-of-focus photograph of something or other as an attention-getter.
In my makeover, I have sought to bring out what the product is. Why is it needed? (Benefits.) How is it different? (Features and advantages.) Who can benefit? (Prospects.) Why should I believe you? (Proof and credibility.)
What is it? One of the “top business schools” along with Harvard and Wharton (famousing it up) and an “advanced center for global success” (hinting at superiority over the other two).
Why is it needed? To prepare managers and CEOs for “global success” in the new free-market economy.
How is it special? You hobnob with top people and top companies. Not an ivory tower — many of our faculty have firsthand experience in high-level business management. No boring lecturers — we weed those out by firing them. More international in scope than other business schools.
Who can benefit? In this case, admittedly and deliberately, I am a little vague because the ad is reaching out to so many different kinds of prospects. My net is spread out to pull in a manager wanting to improve or to enjoy an executive perk. An administrator looking for educational executive perks to pass out to managers and future managers. A CEO interested in getting his company in fighting trim for the battle for world markets, or in combining business and pleasures on the shores of beautiful Lake Lausanne.
Why should you believe us? Well, we're “ranked No. 1 in educational development overall in Europe and No. 2 worldwide in custom programs by the Financial Times Executive Education 2002 Survey.” This information is not buried in an invisible footnote but prominently displayed. And we have partnership programs with such impressive “global names” as DaimlerChrysler, Sony, Monsanto, etc.
And these are only some of the buttons pushed in the makeover.
Here are some more:
Fun and glamour. I showed a photo of the campus building not because it's particularly impressive but because it suggests enjoyment of funky European charm on the shores of Switzerland's Lake Lausanne, not a bad place to pursue business studies.
Pride. You rub elbows with top people from top companies (“183 chairpersons” at a recent conference), do a little networking. If you're a big shot yourself, you won't feel humiliated by having to learn alongside only people of lesser importance.
Branding. The name “IMD” is locked into the headline to increase name memorability and association with superiority.
‘Talk to,’ ‘Don't advertise’ ad. The ad practices relationship advertising by striking up a conversation with the reader in the form of a simulated first-person article bylined by the school's president.
THOMAS L. COLLINS was co-founder and first creative director of Rapp & Collins and is co-author with Stan Rapp of four books on marketing. He is currently an independent marketing consultant and copywriter based in Manhattan.
If you see a direct response ad that you think is crying out for a makeover, clip it out and send it (unfolded if possible) to me at 424 West End Avenue, #11-B, New York, NY 10024. To e-mail comments and opinions: tomyle@rcn.com.
