Ad barely promotes Web site, fails to excite prospects
Citibank started as City Bank of New York in 1812 and is now Citigroup, the world's biggest financial services firm, with pretax profits of over $20 billion. So they must know more about advertising than I do, right?
Not necessarily. As I am fond of pointing out here, smart people can make up a dumb committee.
So a committee was sitting around at Citibank, Citicorp, Citigroup — whatever you call it — trying to figure out how to breathe new life into its advertising and corporate image.
They came up with “Let's Get It Done,” whatever that meant, but it didn't mean much to the public and was soon abandoned. (Unfortunately The Royal Bank of Scotland, whose advertising was analyzed here in March, must have made the mistake of thinking it was great and came up with its own version, “Make It Happen.”)
So the Citibank committee goes back to work and somebody presumably says, “Hey, I've got a great idea! Why don't we bring back ‘The Citi Never Sleeps’? We spent a lotta megabucks building that.”
That campaign theme had been the coinage 30 years earlier of the talented Wells Rich Greene copywriter Bob Wilvers, when 24-hour banking via ATMs was introduced.
So it was agreed to relaunch and update that theme. Orders were issued, storyboards were approved, and the result was the terrific high-energy commercial I am sure most of you have seen and heard if you watch network television.
As a dazzling montage of images roll, we hear a narrator's urgent voice-over:
Every night you sleep, but your dreams are wide awake.
Because ambitions never sleep…aspirations never sleep…goals never sleep…hopes never sleep…opportunities never sleep…the world never sleeps.
That's why we work around the world…that's why we work around the clock….to turn dreams into realities.
That's why Citi never sleeps.
Of course, I'm not quite sure what they're getting at, but I love it! I think it means Citibank will lend you money or help your money grow. But hey, brand-image advertising is not necessarily rational or informational — and I mean that respectfully. There's not a lot of information and persuasion you can pack into a 30-second message. And for me the commercial builds a vivid image of a smart, powerful, focused, helpful financial institution. It gives new meaning to a highly familiar slogan. It makes me more attracted to doing business with that bank.
I mention all this because it underscores so strongly some points I frequently make. Effective, persuasive, informational print advertising has different requirements than television spots — the creative talent and experience needed, for example.
And yet, although billions of dollars are still being spent on print ads, it's often neglected in corporate thinking. It's treated as marketing's stepchild and not given the top talent and experience it deserves. The art director doesn't see eye to eye with the copywriter, and neither of them bother to coordinate with the Web site designer.
So inadequate, weak-response ads slip into print and are poorly coordinated with the content of the advertiser's Web site.
This issue's makeover candidate by Citicorp is a good example. It seems to be intended both to build a favorable image of the Citi-created Web site Women & Co., designed to serve women's special needs, and to motivate female readers to explore it.
We see a gloomy-looking woman against a background of a depressingly dark and cloudy sky. She doesn't seem to be a high-fashion model or a likable homemaker or career woman that the ad's intended audience might identify with or aspire to be.
Against the sky, in smallish white letters (almost always a bad idea), is the headline: “Dividends are a girl's best friend.” A feeble play on the words of the song, “Diamonds are a girl's best friend,” immortalized by Carol Channing in the Broadway musical “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.” But as every savvy direct marketer can tell you, flat statements like that don't work as a headline. They don't lead the reader anywhere. “A Penny Saved Is a Penny Earned.” How true. So what?
Beneath the illustration is site identification (“Women & Co.”), followed, naturally, by body copy in too-small type. By trimming just half an inch off the top and bottom of the illustration block, enough additional room could have been provided to make the type twice as large — and twice as readable — without crowding.
Alongside the copy is not one but two logos left over from previous campaigns. “Thinking about the future…Planning it now,” and “Citi…Let's get it done.”
As often happens, the unreadable copy is not too bad as far as it goes. It just doesn't go as far as it could and should.
Let's face it, women are natural investors. We invest our time, energy and love in the people around us with the proficiency of experts. So what happens when it comes to investing that other thing — our money? We should be pretty good at that too, right? Women & Co. is a resource brought to you by Citi. It empowers you to become the master of your money. That means access to investment education and classes, professionals and a network of like-minded women.
To learn more, talk to a Citibank or a Smith Barney representative or go to www.womenandco.com.
I like the empathic, flattering beginning, and the description of the site resources that follows isn't bad.
But informational, action-oriented ads are a collection of hot buttons. Each one that makes a connection with some reader adds to the total readership and measurable response. So if the copy mentions “landlord and tenant issues,” that may be a hot button for only one reader out of 100. But then “living will” scores with another one out of 100 readers, and so on. So the more sales points that are meaningful to some readers and can be comfortably accommodated, the higher the impact and response.
In my makeover I decided to eliminate the gloomy model and sky and instead bring in the president of Women & Co., Linda Descano, to speak understandingly to women readers about their special financial needs and how Citi's Web site is designed to help.
Because it's presented as a bylined article, women will feel they're being talked to reasonably and sympathetically rather than being “advertised at.”
I tried to retain the tone of the original copy, as any good direct marketer would do. But I included far more information about the site's resources and benefits, especially the free 24-hour phone service offering professional legal and financial assistance, a feature I thought was pretty sensational.
And I turned the disadvantage of the $250 membership fee into an advantage, for it means it's a $250 value you can get at no charge if you are or decide to become a Citi customer or Smith Barney client. All in nice readable type.
I think this approach would produce many, many more responses from prime female prospects.
Wanna bet? What do you think?
THOMAS L. COLLINS (thomas.l.collins@verizon.net) has been a direct marketing copywriter, ad maker, agency creative director and co-author of four books on marketing. He is currently an independent creative and marketing consultant based in Portland, OR.
Find more Makeover Maven columns at http://directmag.com/opinions-columnists/makeovermaven/.
